Affirmation of the Week

 

GROUNDING PROMPTS 

What do you usually contract to?

Do you notice easily?

Why do you contract to these things/circumstances?

How do you soften?

If you usually don’t, what would help you soften?

Learning New Things

 

Learning is one of my lifelong passions. As far as I can remember, I've always loved learning as a child, in school, not so much for the social interactions, but mostly for the knowledge I had access to (there was no Internet in my days!). It helped me understand the world around me and what was possible.

Learning is not only to understand the world around us, our history, our beliefs, where we come from, how things work, but also to understand yourself, and how you want to fit in in all that. It is very hard to make an informed decision when you are not aware of the context.
Learning expands your knowledge, possibilities and horizons. Throughout my life, I have retrained many times in order to be able to work in conditions and environments that would fit my lifestyles at different times of my life.

Learning new things can be scary because we do not know what to do, and we fear that not knowing will make us look and feel weak, inadequate, imperfect. This is very often the main cause of fear of trying new things for many people. When you are in your comfort zone, you know what to do and you know that you have a far greater chance of success, projecting greater value of yourself to others, as well as yourself, bringing confidence and a higher sense of self-esteem. Doesn't it feel good when you know you are good at something, that you can do something effortlessly? So why on earth would you get out of that beloved, easy and safe comfort zone? Why risk being exposed to the unknown, where anything can happen, none of it we are prepared for? What can happen? What will I lose if I fail? We, humans, are creatures of habits and moving towards the unknown just seems and feels so very unnatural. There are so many things we cannot control in our lives, why move away from the things we can actually control? There is just no sense in that.

But learning new things not only helps us increase our flexibility in life (like I have done in my work life to suit my circumstances), as the more we learn, the more we know, the more we know, the more we can do, and the more we can contribute and help others, as well as ourselves.

It also strengthens the health of our brain. Indeed as we learn new things, our brain creates new pathways, strengthening each time we practice the new activity. We get used to it after a while, the pathways are strong, and it becomes almost a habit, and that is when we challenge ourselves, learn more, go deeper, to create even more pathways. This keeps our brain active in a healthy way, alive, and it has been demonstrated in recent years by many scientific studies that learning new things on a regular basis can help prevent degenerative brain disorders such as Alzheimer's. How many elderly people do you know who have been active all throughout their life through work, and when retirement comes, spend their days aimlessly and wither away? Lack of challenge will lead to our brain becoming less and less active. Constant GROWTH throughout our life is essential for our health and survival, on many levels.

The new things you learn do not have to be big like climbing Mount Everest or learning medicine, it can be researching a topic you want to learn more about and take notes (any learning needs to be active, not passive, to be memorised efficiently. Taking notes is a great way to move away from passive learning to active learning), practising a new type of crafts, hobby or new technique, starting an exercise routine, a new diet, or even trying a new recipe or new foods. New experiences will create new points of reference for you as well, new memories.

The beauty of learning new things is that you are always in a beginner's mindset. Very often when we learn something, our learning experience is affected by what we think we already know on the subject, which prevents us to be totally open and receptive to the learning. Our mind and learning are clouded by the misconceptions and assumptions we have. The beginner's mind lets you be completely open to receive the information, enabling a better retention in your memory.

Listing all the new things I have learnt in my lifetime would be just too long and too boring for you to read, and for me to recollect. Here are some of the recent new things I have been learning:

• trying new mixes of fruits and vegs for my daily morning green smoothie once each week at least;
• reading a variety of new books (as opposed to re-reading faves, which I am quite guilty of);
• learning Japanese with my son (very early stage!);
• reviewing my progress on goals and life in general on a regular basis (weekly) and making adjustments;
• learning Sashiko (Japanese embroidery technique);
• doing walks in nature as often as I can and notice something different each time and take a photo if I can (I walk the same route each time as there is only one park where I live that I can manage with my asthma);
• learning aromatherapy, life coaching, and about energy healing;
• trying new art supplies on different media;
• practising bookbinding;
• watching new TV series (recently, I have started watching various Japanese animes with my son, which is very different to what I usually watch. It is also a great opportunity for quality time together);
• trying new musics to listen to (at the moment I'm into bird songs);
• trying new scents and combinations in my essential oils diffuser;
• trying a new cookies recipe and making adjustments/ experimenting with extra ingredients each time;
• starting the Jennibellie Lunar class to learn to work with lunar cycles and have fun with it (I have never learnt about this before, not even in school);
• trying new herbal teas;
• learning to sew different items, by hand and machine (pencil cases, pouches, my new projects are to sew cats beds for my furry babies, a pillow and pillow case with a sashiko piece attached to it, and a Haori - a Japanese "jacket" worn over a kimono - without using patterns, so I have to work out the patterns by myself, using my own measurements);
• learning remote access for work;
• updating systems at work for quality standards continuous improvement;
• having a mindful cup of tea at work to help me slow down and recharge (it only takes a few seconds);
• planning meals for my lunches as I now avoid carbs during the day (I used to have leftovers from the previous night to bring to work for my lunches, usually carbs, so this is brand new to me, preparing meals without carbs);
• trying new healthy practices like Tai Chi, energy healing and breathwork;
• started a daily journaling practice, as well as checking in and cheching out;
• trying new types of meditations, courses and visualisations on the Insight Timer app.

As you can see, this non-exhaustive list is quite varied, it can include personal growth on a spiritual, physical or emotional level, health, family, work, fun/hobbies, or practical. It can be from your own choosing or dictated by your responsibilities.

What new thing are you gonna try this week?
Have fun with it :-)

Sunday Journaling Prompt

 

GOING DEEPER:

How do you really feel?

What is preventing you to feel completely whole and healed?

Do you feel any fear or resistance? Towards what?

What is this fear/resistance telling you?

What needs to heal?

What first small step can you take this week towards healing?

What will your life look and feel like once you have healed?

What will you be able to do that you couldn’t do before?

********************************************

Happy exploring, my dear journal adventurers ❤️

Stay safe x

Sunday Journaling Prompt

 

GOING DEEPER -

Where in the past are you stuck? How does it feel to be there still?

What patterns do you feel keep repeating over and over again?

What are these patterns and experiences you are so attached to teaching you?

How would it feel like if you were free of your past?

Are you ready to move forward and leave the past behind? If not, what is keeping you there?

What do you need to do? Forgive yourself? Forgive others? Make sense of the experience you’re stuck with? Let go? 

What is one small thing you can do TODAY to help you move forward?

It IS hard to work with our past, painful, disorienting, and sometimes discouraging. When you think you have found some resolution with an experience from your past, and a reminder comes up, and you feel like you’re back to it all over again. That’s what I’ll be working on this coming week with this prompt, and exploring the “going deeper” questions above.

Much love on your journaling journey with this prompt, and please remember that if anything comes up for you that could possibly be traumatic, first, it is normal, and also, always make sure that you have a support group or professional support to help you through this xxx

Affirmation Wednesday

 

Wisdom Cards

 

For this article, I've made a couple of videos for you to show you my wisdom cards and my process for making them.

Wisdom cards (or inspiration/guidance/help/truth cards, whatever name you want to call them) are a little bit like the index cards you use for making your revision for exams and tests at school. In many ways, it works the same. The wisdom cards remind you of what is important in the "exam" of our daily life. We are often put to the test, confronting challenges and blocks, and these cards are here to help you know (or refresh your memory, because your inner wisdom already knows, after all, you've made the cards) what to do.

They are one of your many tools in your survival kit, but such an important tool. They are what I call your maps to your true north.

In the first video, I go through my cards and explain a bit more where they come from and what they are to me, what themes I like to focus on. You can watch the first video by clicking on the image below (you will be directed to Youtube. The video is on my artsy channel, Christelle's Art Factory)

In my second video, I walk you through the process of making the cards. Although the video is 40-ish minutes long, I talk a lot (haha!) so it wouldn't take you that long to make your own cards. I also offer some suggestions for other ways to make your cards. (Just click on the image below to watch the second video on Youtube)

Mentioned in the videos

• Melody Ross, The Walk and Soul Book classes (currently unavailable)
• Christelle's Art Factory Youtube channel HERE
• my Soul Book videos playlist on Youtube HERE
• book Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Conner
• Insight Timer app teacher Giovanni Dienstmann
• small bottle of white gesso Ranger Dina Wakley 1 fl oz/ 29 ml available on Amazon
• Docraft Artiste multi purpose paints / Americana craft paints - both available on Amazon
• Sharpie markers

Your Wisdom Cards are gift you give yourself to never forget what is important to you and that you always have all the tools you need to face challenges and find your happy in this life.

I hope this process inspires you to make and use your own.

Enjoy xxx

Affirmation Wednesday

Affirmation Wednesday

Affirmation Wednesday

Self Care

Why self care? Everyone needs to be taken good care of. Sometimes people don’t have anyone to take care of them. It doesn’t mean, though, that they cannot get the TLC they need.

We’re like machines. We need good maintenance otherwise we break down. There are basic things we all need - good food, water, exercise, shelter and rest. But we also need happiness. Feeling miserable brings us down and makes us ill.

Because we are all different, we all need different things to make us happy, and while people around us might think they know us well - and some might - they do not know us as well as we know ourselves. They might know what makes us happy, and might endeavour to do things to make us happy, but, in that department, we are the ones who know best. We know how we truly feel, they don’t.

This is why it is so important that we take care of ourselves, outside AND inside. To recognise what makes us happy and true to ourselves, it is OUR job. Without it, we cannot function the way we are meant to. And how can you take good care of others if you do not take good care of yourself first? The basic principle of health and safety in case of danger is never put yourself at risk; put the oxygen mask on before going to save other people.

Thinking about yourself and making the time to take good care of yourself is not selfish. On the contrary. It is ensuring that we are happy and well enough, the best we can be, to help others around us and make a positive difference to their lives. And also leading by example.

I invite you to reflect on self care for you, by journaling on the following questions. This will help you assess where your self care plan is at, what you have in place, and what you need.

• How do we do self care?
• Why don’t I do it?
• What works best for me for self care?
• What does tired feel like?
• What does overwhelm feel like?
• What could rested and renewed feel like?
• What could peace feel like?
• What do I expect of myself that I shouldn’t expect?
• What do I currently have in place for my self care?
• What routines in my life are supporting my self care?
• What routines in my life are detrimental to my self care?
• How can I change my detrimental routines? If they cannot be changed (eg. work, family, financial commitments), how can I deal with them in a way that will reduce the damage to my self care? What do I need to achieve this? Who can help me?
• What do I need more of in my self care?
• How do I want to feel every single day of my life?

Inspirational Quote Thursday

Hello beautiful souls

I have decided to now include the Facebook inspirational quotes on Mondays and Thursdays on the blog. Keep everything together.

So here it is-

Have an amazing day, and stay safe, wherever you are x

Sunday Journaling Prompt # 16

Insight Timer App Review

Today, I'd like to do my first review on this blog and I have chosen to talk about my favourite meditation/music app which I have been using for over a year now.
As you may know from a previous article, meditation is an integral part of my daily life and the Insight Timer app, I have found, has been supporting my needs very well.

While my meditation practice has a specific structure, I find that I rarely use the app for actual meditations instead of my established Ziva practice, but more for the vast array of relaxing music available on this app. Seriously, it is a gold mine! I will play longer pieces for my evening wind down or even during the day when I feel anxious, stressed or overwhelmed. I also like to listen to calm music when I read as, I have come to realise, it helps me relax while I'm reading and helps me focus more. The "Evening Fire" instrumental song by Loula Taylor is my favourite go-to background music for my Ziva meditation; it is exactly 20 minutes, just like my meditation session, which makes it perfect for me to gently time my session. The music is also not distracting which is very important.

But let's have a look at this wondrous app that is now a full part of my well-being kit.

The app is available both on Google Play and Apple App Store. It is free to download and use, but a subscription is also available (monthly, yearly) to be able to access content offline and have availability of courses (they are not accessible if you are on a free account). You can start with a free trial period before you decide to subscribe, if you want access to every option available on the app. I did the trial, cancelled it before the end of the trial period and then received a half price offer on the annual subscription (at that time, annual was the only option offered for Premium). This is how I am currently on a Premium account. It will expire in August this year and, unless I get another good offer like this one, there is a fair chance that I will stay on the free account, just because there is still so much you can access.
The free account gives you access to all the meditations and music so, in my books, that's fantastic to start with. There are thousands of teachers, musicians and meditations available. You can search by type, length, teacher, style, keywords, which makes the search very efficient in quickly finding what you're looking for.

Here are a few screenshots of my Insight Timer to give you an idea of how it's organised:

As you can see, there is a Parents category with music, talks and meditations for children and teenagers. A really invaluable resource, especially in these uncertain times.

As I said, the search lets you search in different ways. Here are the default search options on the Search page:

Here are some of my personal favourites and recently played (there are MANY more but that would take an awful lot of photos for you to look at!):

Some of my faves teachers I follow, so far (there are thousands I haven't discovered yet!) -

Here is the Courses page (only available with Premium accounts):

And here is a look at the Account page and options:

As you can see, this app is very comprehensive and the materials availability quite diverse.

Since I have discovered Jacqui Prydie a few months ago, I have delved into the world of Affirmations and have been listening to one of her Affirmations meditations every night when I go to bed. You can see a few titles on my Recently Played screens.

What I love the most about Insight Timer, apart from the fact that you have gigantic access even with the free account, which is definitely not the case for other meditation apps, is the variety of styles that you get. Often, meditation apps focus on a particular style of meditation, exploring different aspects and with different courses, like the Headspace app, for instance, which was the first meditation app I actually used.
But Insight Timer enables you to discover and explore a multitude of meditation aspects, from sound therapy, to mindfulness, gratitude, affirmations, reprogramming, manifestation and mantras, to name but a few. There are also some very good talks about a variety of wellness and social subjects. I particularly enjoyed Justin Michael Williams "Forgiving Yourself", which is a big thing for me I need to work on, and "The Revolution Starts Inside" which I found very inspiring and beautiful.

I invite you to give this app a try, even if it's just staying on the free account.
You have truly nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Affirmations

When affirming something, you are emphatically stating that it is so.
It is with this attitude in mind that affirmations are built and stated.

Affirmations are a practice that was firmly established in the early 20th century by French psychologist and pharmacist Emile Coue, even though the method can be traced back as early as ancient eastern religions.
The great advances in medical research now enable to demonstrate and support the effectiveness of practising affirmations, especially in modern neuroscience.

The aim of affirmations is to establish positive thinking and empowerment in the individual. They are presented as statements in the present tense. Using this tense enables you to ground in the now.

Another particularity of affirmations is that they contain either (or several) of these words - I, me, my.
The effect of this is to help the “affirmer” to focus on him/her to empower him/herself and move into a state of positivity and confidence.

Examples of affirmations are: “I am worthy of love”, “the universe has my back”, “others looks up to me instinctively for wisdom and support”...
The empowerment target theme can be very varied, depending on your initial intent - self-esteem, confidence, relationships, success, overcoming fears and obstacles, health...

When you start practising affirmations, they can sound a bit cheesy to you, but you just need to trust the process. In time, you will feel the transformation and find that the initial discomfort and embarrassment were well worth it.

While the main practice model consists of stating the affirmation (either outloud or to yourself) and repeating it, listening to affirmations can also be effective. They still access your subconscious who will integrate them in your mind.
The more you state the affirmation, the more you get used to it and believe it and, as you believe it, it becomes part of your thinking patterns.

I have been listening to various affirmations meditations from Jacqui Prydie on the Insight Timer app, on a daily basis just before bedtime, and have found them not only very relaxing but also beneficial, especially in these uncertain times.
I have decided to be more active in my Affirmations practice and concentrate on one affirmation to focus on per week. So, from Wednesday 3rd June, I will be posting one affirmation per week on the blog, Facebook and Instagram for you to join the adventure.

Keep an eye out for Affirmation Wednesdays...

My Life On Lockdown - So Far

This crisis the world is experiencing at the moment is beyond unusual, unique and frightening. As the death toll keeps rising daily, most of us are locked away, at home, hopefully safe and sound.

While we are all so grateful to our essential workers around the world for being out there and keep our world turning around for us all, we can't help but think and fear for their safety. Some of these everyday heroes may even be part of your family or dear friends, which makes the agony even so much more personal and close to home.

When this all began here in the UK, my first experience with it was while doing my regular weekly food shop on a Saturday morning, to realise that, at 9 am, there was barely anything left in the shop! No canned food, no frozen food, no pasta, no rice, no bread, no gluten free stuff apart from lasagna sheets, no toilet paper. And I thought to myself, "what a bunch of selfish and irresponsible idiots!" Photos in the media of elderly people facing empty shelves literally broke my heart. This panic buying, I later realised, is well beyond being utterly selfish (even though I still think it is) - it is also for some people a coping mechanism in times of crisis. Loss of control will bring a hyperaction in areas of your life you CAN actually control, to counterbalance the equation, leading to this type of compulsive behaviour.

A week after this happened, I started working from home for a couple of weeks, which I was quite lucky to be able to do, as my buses were being reduced to one per hour. During this time, I avoided going outside, only for cash and food shop. I did go one morning to my local park for a short run, which felt great, but learning that you spread more germs in the air that way really put me off, especially when there were people walking their dogs - which they have to do. It didn't seem fair on them.

I was then off on holiday for a week, and my days followed pretty much the same pattern. After my holiday, I was put on the furlough scheme, which I was quite grateful for, because, in these circumstances, my head just wasn't with phoning customers to get sales or sorting out purchase invoices. So furlough for me was a complete relief.

I am a natural indoors person and have many hobbies and interests that are indoor-orientated so, I have to admit, staying home does not bother me; it gives me the chance to do what I usually struggle to find time to do on normal weeks. I genuinely feel for outdoorsy people, being stuck at home, feeling trapped, almost claustrophobic. I know many people like this and, having spoken to some, all they want is go back to work, even if it means exposing themselves to risk, so they can be out of their house.

This is when mental health plays an essential part. Their habitual mental health preserving techniques are all mostly based on outdoors so it is a dangerous pitfall, and I am not surprised to hear people falling into depression on top of being scared about the situation of our world and people's health.

As I have plenty to do to entertain myself, I felt for quite a few weeks that this crisis hadn't affected me too much in that respect. I have Netflix, Amazon Video and Now TV, so plenty to watch (even though, apart from following my regular shows and binge-watching season 3 and new season 4 of The Last Kingdom, I haven't really watched TV that much). I started de-cluttering my living room - still a long way to go -, finished an online course I was studying, started a new one, journalled A LOT to get it all out of my system rather than bottling it all in, homeschooling my teenage son on things I have no clue about, reading, exercising regularly as part of my morning routine, and started SoulCollage. So I definitely haven't been bored for the last 5 weeks of furlough.

But, between the very real threat to our lives, the conflicting information from the media and our leaders' ways of handling the situation, it has brought to me feelings of fear, worry, uncertainty, anxiety, sadness and sometimes anger. I have had in the last few weeks more nightmares that I ever had in my whole adult life and I know that this is because of it all. Our worlds have been turned upside down and, while you would hope that when this is all over we would build societies and a world much better, kinder, compassionate, tolerant and fairer than we've considered "normal" all these past decades, you can't help but wonder when and how, and what in the meantime? The newly-established routines that now support me, will I be able to maintain them when I go back to work and the business of life from before? These are big questions that we currently find very hard, almost impossible to answer. An additional source of stress and worry.

I have managed to somewhat preserve my mental health by keeping busy, doing things I thoroughly enjoy, some less as they are necessary, journalling a lot (if you are new to journaling as I was, despite numerous attempts in the past, I HIGHLY recommend Jennibellie's free class "7 Day Journaling Journey"), resting when I needed to and keeping some kind of routines. I have also used BlessingManifesting's prompts and affirmation graphics on Instagram and Patreon, as well as her self-care and mental health worksheets. I have not necessarily used them the way they're meant to, but just reading the prompts and affirmations and thinking about them was often enough to support me in my mental health journey through these scary and unstable times. Meditation and relaxing music from the Insight Timer app have also helped me find my centre and my peace, as well as Wim Hof Method breathing exercises.

Having my son with me and my cats is definitely my basic support system as I truly don't know how I would have handled all this on my own if my son had been on lockdown at his dad's. That would have more than likely been a very different story.

I've had plenty of good days, for which I am ever so grateful and feel blessed, some OK-days when I felt I didn't accomplish much, and also a few bad days. Yesterday was from the latter category. Probably one of the worst I've had since it all started. I did my morning routine as usual, watched a couple of Youtube videos, had lunch then, BAM! - massive headache. I battled through the early afternoon but, to be honest, it seems very foggy to me. As I am prone to debilitating migraines, I decided to listen to my body and went to bed with a book and relaxing music. I just couldn't focus on the words, I couldn't rest and in the end I just decided to have a nap at about 4 pm. Woke up at about 7.30 pm, all groggy, feeling drained and past my dinner time for optimum digestion, and I knew it - feeling extremely frustrated and defeated. My evening routine was out of the window and that made me feel even worse. Internal ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) crawling around my brain. I went to sleep 2 hours later and woke up twice in the night with nightmares, in a state of fright and panic. Not a good night at all.

Today, I still got up normal time with my alarm and feel a little bit better but still sensitive. I will have an easy day and if that means that the dishes and the laundry will stay exactly where they are all day, and that lunch and dinner will solely consist of cheese and ham toasties, nuts and fruits, then so be it.

Now more than ever, it is essential to listen to your body and not fall into the guilt-trip if you had a "lazy" day. When I plunge into this guilt-trip with everything I've got, I always remind myself that the natural state of our bodies is to move AND recuperate, and the natural state of our mind is rest, peace, bliss. Your "lazy" days are actually your "recharge your batteries" days and are vital to your well-being, both physically and mentally.

Take care of yourselves, nurture yourself to maintain a healthy mental and physical health, and stay safe. 

Much love to you all x

Routines

Routine (Oxford Dictionary) - a sequence of actions regularly followed.
Synonyms - procedure, practice, pattern, regime...

Routine is based on the systematic repetition, day after day, of specified tasks. By having a set routine, you have created a set of habits that are inherent to your life.

In general language, we tend to use the word "routine" with some detachment, ie. "it's OK, it's just a routine check" or in a pejorative way, where routine means boredom, doing the same thing, over and over again - caught in the loop of Groundhog Day.

While all these meanings of the word are very valid,  the rapid growth of self-care as a practice and an essential part of your well-being and productivity has encouraged us to view the word routine in a more positive light.

Indeed, by creating a routine, you are creating a set of positive habits that will enhance your life, your efficiency, your happiness and, most likely, that of others around you.
Creating a routine is also a great way to get rid of habits that are detrimental to these aspects of your life. You are replacing negative with positive.

Having routines in your life has scientifically been proven by many medical research projects to be beneficial to your overall health. They create stability to your life, preventing stress and overwhelm in certain aspects of your life, as well as a sense of safety; changing or creating habits and routines give you a sense of control. You can actually have influence over things you can truly control, which gives a feeling of achievement, satisfaction and order.

I'm sure we've all been there - waking up late in the morning for work, rushing through the shower, skipping breakfast... Pretty obvious you will get stressed as I'm pretty sure very few of us have a routine they feel secure and confident to follow like a breeze when you pressed the Snooze button too many times.
By creating stress this way, a state of panic, the fight or flight reaction kicks in immediately in your whole body, creating a weakening of your physical and mental abilities, as well as depleting your immune system. When you don't have a routine, you just juggle with everything you have to do and try to wing it. I can't really think of many other things more stressful than this.

The typical routines are morning routine and evening routine, but you can create a routine for pretty much anything - the way you prepare your food, the way you start and finish work, at lunchtime, in your creative process (whether you are a professional or hobbyist), when walking the dog - and you can even have routines for specific periods of the year, like Christmas (in this type of cases, you might also call them traditions), during school holidays when you have the kids home with you all day...

I have a few sets of routines - which, I guess, I could call sub-routines - that are part of other routines. I know, it sounds complicated but it really isn't. I'll give you an example.
I have a skincare routine and a hygiene routine that are both part of my morning and evening routines, with slight alterations whether I'm doing these in the morning or in the evening. For my skincare routine, in the morning, I start with washing my face, and if it's in the evening, I will wash it twice as I'll need one round to remove my make-up and another to actually wash my face. Similarly for my skincare products, I have a selection that I use both morning and evening - I keep these in the middle of my shelf, in the order I will apply them - while my morning products are kept on the far right side of my shelf and my evening products are kept on the far left of my shelf. It might sound a bit OCD (which I don't believe that I am), but organising in an easy and visual way is the best way to keep a habit or a routine, especially when you're introducing it - it's so easy to give up when things are too complicated. You need to be able to do it almost with your eyes closed.

In the evening, I have a very specific routine to help me wind down and sleep well. I have sleep issues, mostly waking up in the night and not being able to go back to sleep until - very often - half an hour before I'm due to get up. For a long time, I felt extremely depleted and lethargic because of this, as I wasn't getting a restful sleep to bring me enough energy to last all day with a smile and a dance. Again, creating that routine was a struggle - depending also on what I need to do, I don't follow it 100% of the time, but for the most part I do manage to stick to it quite regularly. A few months ago, I came across a blog article/newsletter email from The Betty Rocker (love her, she's AWESOME) where she was explaining the importance of setting an efficient evening routine in order to maximise the quality of your sleep. She showed a screen shot of her mobile phone, where she set up alarms for each activity. I have to say, since I have done this, I haven't really had too much hassle following my routine. I sincerely think that it is the main reason why I have managed to have it ingrained in me. When I skip a step, I really feel it.

Here is a screen shot of the alarms I have set up for my evening routine (and I will explain them in more details below):

Step 1: I'm not eating anything after 7:30pm. This is to ensure that I have finished (or almost finished) digesting by the time I am ready to go to sleep. When you are digesting, your body uses energy, which interrupts sleep quality and the restorative part of sleep. Sometimes, you might get a bad night's sleep only because you had heavy and/or rich foods before going to bed.

Step 2: I'm not drinking anything after 8:30pm to avoid night trips to the toilet - we've all been there, I know! This is also where I have scheduled to do my hygiene and skincare routine, but to be honest, very often, I tend to do it between these 2 steps. It gives me more time for journaling. I have 3 journals on the go - a 1-day-a-page diary, which helps me record briefly what happened in the day, a "proper journal" where I go a lot deeper - I usually write 3/4 pages on average per day - and do a daily doodle, and an affirmations journal, where I chose an affirmation and repeat it throughout the page (it gets into my system when I'm ready to sleep, conditioning you for the next day - more on this soon in an upcoming article on sleep).

Step 3: I read a proper book (not Kindle or other digital) for half an hour. This helps my brain to slow down and my body to wind down. It also makes me happy as I love reading and, especially if I've been at work all day, for me it is my precious me-time. From this moment, I also stop using any screens (mobile, ipad, laptop, TV...) to stop being exposed to blue lights, which are also a great culprit for sleep disruption. So please don't take offence if I don't text or message you back!
I have also recently taken on listening to an audiobook instead of reading. I tend to do this on days I am extremely tired or if I have a headache. It enables me to still have my bedtime story-time while resting my eyes (and arms).

Step 4: meditation for me, especially in the evening, is non-negotiable. It is what de-stresses my brain and my body and keeps me more or less sane. I am a big Ziva meditation fan, but having tried other types of meditative exercises from various methods, I am now mixing it all up, while still following the Ziva sequence. It does take me 25/30 minutes of total quiet both inside and outside. I often play relaxing music on low volume from the Insight Timer app (my favourite) as it enables me to roughly and gently time the end of my meditation, to come out of it slowly. By this time, I'm totally ready for the next step!

Step 5: Lights off, sleep tight!! ZZZ...

This routine might seem very regimented, but it actually flows very nicely to calm you down both physically and mentally throughout the evening.

Having routines does not mean however that you should only do the same thing over and over again. It is also important, as a healthy habit, to try new things (foods, styles of books/movies/TV series/games, hobbies, walking routes, new type of exercise...) to keep your brain alert. Your brain needs variety and new challenges all the time to keep growing and evolving, and new activities are equally important. It also has the merit to fight boredom for those of you who get bored easily. My most recent new thing to try is to learn and use Trello for organising and scheduling my blog/Facebook and Instagram tasks. Another great example of this can be learning a new word and definition a day/week, or learning a new language.
Whatever your interests are, with the wide accessibility to knowledge that we are now so blessed to experience, there will always be something new for you to try.

On a last note, all routines are not created equal and if a particular routine does not work for you, never hesitate to review it and change it - try new things ;-)
And if you are new to creating a routine, start small to make it easy and enjoyable, and keep adding as you go along. Only this way will you be able to maintain it. It might seem like a big undertaking but it is in your health's and well-being's best interest so it is totally worth the initial effort - YOU CAN DO THIS :-)

THE POWER OF ACHIEVING

We have a strong culture of achievement in our society - we are judged and valued against what we can show for our achievements, and success is measured by what job you do, how much money you have in your bank account, what car you drive, what clothes you wear, what skincare and make up brands you use...

This has placed a tremendous amount of pressure on people to keep appearances and give the show of being great successes and achievers.

Students from any levels are put under the pressure of exams to show how “intelligent or dumb” they are. If they want to fit in and guarantee themselves a bright future, they just HAVE to achieve. Desired universities and colleges will only accept students above a certain grade, putting even more pressure on students.

Achievement is an integral part of our society and, while a very worthwhile goal, it is also a stigma and a source of stress for many. The pressure of achieving is sometimes given a bad name.

However, achievement puts you instantly into the mindset of positivity. We’ve all been there - we passed our exams, got our dream job, jumped off an airplane, climbed that mountain... and while the journey to this achievement might have been trying or even painful, once you’re there: WOW, what a feeling!

It is this feeling that I would like to focus on in this article. This feeling that, despite all the obstacles on the way, you made it. You got what you wanted. You’re a winner.

Admiral McRaven beautifully explains how making your bed first thing in the morning gets you into that winning feeling. It is so important to  start your day on a positive note - it keeps you in the mood of achieving. By making your bed (properly) this morning, you succeeded at the very first task of the day. By taking all the tasks you have to do throughout your day one at a time, you can focus more on what you are doing and have a greater chance of completing it successfully, especially if you are on positive vibes.

Indeed, when you are achieving any task, big or small, your brain sends signals to your glands to produce 4 essential hormones to positivity - dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphin (DOSE). These hormones, apart from promoting feelings of happiness, are also key to producing the perfect psychological environment for achieving.  They promote optimism, raise your energy levels, encourage the ability to connect with people by being open, create a higher focus which in turn increases your drive and confidence. I mean, with all these attributes at your disposal, you have no other choice but to automatically achieve, even without trying - well maybe you should try anyway, it can’t hurt!

Achieving has therefore very little to do with willpower or being lazy. It has everything to do with conditioning your mind, from the first moment you wake up, and drive this feeling through the rest of your day. 

Gratitude, in that respect, is totally an integral part of achieving. By recognising and giving thanks for what you already have in your life, you know that you are already a winner and the DOSE hormones will keep flowing throughout your body.

As Admiral McRaven says in his amazing and inspiring speech “the little things matter - if you can’t do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right”. Click HERE to watch an extract of his speech on YouTube. 

The little things are a lot easier to deal with than the big things, but we all know that the big things will always turn up in our lives. By training ourselves to pay attention to the day-to-day tasks and completing these successfully, we are creating a habit of achieving and constantly finding moments of happiness in our lives.

Sunday Journaling Prompt #8

Happy Sunday to you all.

After a laptop-free home break, I am back to the blog this Sunday for our next journaling prompt:

This question is often easy to answer for people around you, but not so easy for you.

Take a good honest look inside yourself and at your experiences and achievements in life (big and small), and you will find your answers.

YOU MATTER and you are UNIQUE.

Until next week...

Sunday Journaling Prompt #5

Happy Sunday, my fellow journalers.

Today I am asking you to dig deep and be extremely honest with yourself, without any shame or any fear. It is important for you in order to progress to a place in your life where you will find your happiness.

I know, this is scary shit, but we’ll worth doing. It doesn’t mean that you’ll need to drop everything in your life, but it will give you a clearer idea of what you actually need and devise a plan of action to get it.
It was this question that led me on this journey  - one baby step at a time...

STRESS - What Is It Good For? Absolutely Nothing?

Stress is such a nasty word nowadays.

People are off sick for stress like never before in humankind's history, and, therefore, stress has been labelled in the media and medical circles as the plague of our century.

So what is the fuss all about? What IS stress?

I know that we all have experienced it at some point or another in our lives; we have all felt the symptoms it creates - no focus, panic, feelings of overwhelm, no control, heart racing, unable to speak, weight on your shoulders you feel will crush you forever, fear, migraines, and so many more that ruin our lives on a daily basis.

But when we look at stress from a biological point of view, it is nothing more than an automated chemical reaction starting from the brain.

It is a well-designed mechanism in-built in every human being.

Its function? To really understand its function and how the reaction unfolds, we have to go back to our very far ancestors living in caves and in the wild - prehistoric times.

Obviously, life was extremely different to ours then. Food had to be collected by scavenging and hunting, with no guarantee of success. Neighbours were not all friendly as they included wild animals who, as well, were hunting - and our ancestors were food to them.

So, imagine this - your ancestor is hunting for food, on stealth mode as they now say in video games. It is vital that they are careful and silent if, first, they do not want to scare their prey off and have any chance of bringing food home to the family/community, but also not to attract the attention of other predators, to whom they would become prey.

Our ancestor's heart is beating fast, he may well start sweating - this is one way that stress is experienced. Fear of being discovered and/or failing.

Now, without warning, our ancestor comes face to face with a tiger, who will think "yummy food" and prepare to attack. The full range of the stress chemical reaction will kick off - the brain identifies danger and starts creating 2 substances called adrenalin and cortisol, both hormones secreted by the adrenal glands. These hormones will affect most systems in the body, to engage it and prepare it for what is called "fight or fight" [or freeze, which is the third option] response.

The musculoskeletal system will tense the muscles all at once, the respiratory system will create rapid breathing and shortness of breath (as the airway between the nose and lungs will be constricted due to the muscles tensing), the cardiovascular system will increase the heart rate, which will send most blood pumped into the larger muscles (organs for self-preservation, and legs), the endocrine system will create more cortisol (the stress hormone) to increase the level of energy fuel available to the body, and the gastrointestinal system will kick off by emptying (I know, not nice, but so true - we've all had nervous poo syndrome prior to interviews or big presentations) to enable the body to be as light as possible. And all this starting from the nervous system sending alarm messages to the rest of the body on sight of danger.

All in all, stress is nothing more than a natural reaction that will kick in at first sight of danger, to ensure our survival.

This is what it is designed to be.

Now our lives in the 21st century are quite different.

Even though for soldiers on the battlefront, populations facing war and genocide, as well as in the case of natural catastrophes or bombings, for whom the stress reaction will consist of the same scenario as for our prehistoric ancestor, we, on the other hand, are rarely faced with such horrid and life-threatening situations - luckily.

Our lives have become more secure, sheltered in a way as everything you could wish for you can order online and have it delivered direct to your doorstep in a relatively short time.

So, really, the stress reaction should not apply to our day-to-day life circumstances.

As we are now never really faced with actual danger, our brain has learnt to perceive every hurdle, every offense, every disagreement, every unpleasant circumstance as a threat. But a threat to what? you will ask, as it is very rarely a threat to our lives.

Our society has, for the last century or so, made us focus more, as individuals, on who we are, what we represent, what we want, in brief, on our ego. 

Every "NO" that you get is a threat to your ego in the way that it will not get what it wants. Every pile of work your boss dumps on you and that you really don't fancy doing but still have to do, is a real threat to your ego who wants it its way, who wants to have control.

And this is nowadays the type of incidents that declares an all-raging war to your body, just for the sake of your ego's survival, as opposed to your own.

From something quite positive - life-saving - our society and way of life have transformed the natural physiological reaction of stress into one of the most dangerous condition to our health, well-being and good-function in our world.

The intended dose of stress to be inflicted to the body was only meant by nature to be occasional, but our lives have made the occurrences multiple on a daily basis, in such a way that it affects both our mental and physical abilities. Constant or regular tense muscles will create chronic muscle pain, encouraging bad posture and limiting our mobility as well as increasing chances of injuries, while, mentally, fatigue, feelings of being drained, headaches, migraines, lethargy, depression will settle.

You know when they say that stress makes you stupid, it actually does as, when stress hormones are released and more blood is directed towards the legs and vital organs, the brain is depleted of blood flow, making it extremely hard to think or focus (I'm sure you've all experienced this, being put on the spot and not knowing what to say, and when the stress is over and you think over it, "I should have said..." - it all comes to you). For a long time (most of my teens and twenties years - and to some extent my thirties as well), I was stressed constantly by life, by other people, by my fear of speaking up and saying my own mind. Very often, I was speechless, not knowing what to say at that particular moment, standing like an idiot and being crushed silently by the situation or the person - and the more it would happen, the more stressed I would be. I genuinely believed that, despite all my varied skills and academic achievements, I was one of the stupidest people on earth. I do believe that my constant motivation to keep learning new things all the time and understand is partly due to this feeling I used to have and that used to crush my life so miserably.

Coming back to the effects of stress on your brain, if there is no or little blood flowing in your brain, then brain cells will lack oxygen and eventually die. Less brain cells, less thinking power.

I think it is important to understand what stress is actually meant for and how it works on a biological level.

Next time you get stressed for nothing, hopefully this knowledge will put things back into perspective for you and will limit the amount of unnecessary stress you're exposed to.

Will I die if my report is not finished on time? More than likely, no; so all I can do is focus and do the best I can. No meany stress required - breathe in deeply, and out, keep calm and trooper on...