Your Comfort Zone

When I think of comfort zone, I don't know why but I always think of Charles Schulz Peanuts' book title "Happiness is a Warm Blanket".

Your comfort zone is what you currently have and makes you happy. It is cozy, warm and comfortable, like your favourite pair of shoes you've had for years, like a warm blanket.
But don't you find that, once you're all wrapped up in that warm and nice blanket on your sofa, with the perfect cup of tea or coffee in your hand, you just don't want to move? The phone or door bell rings and you literally have to drag yourself out of your heavenly environment to answer - if you decide to answer at all. After all, you're all comfortable and relaxed. Who dares to disturb you? If it's that important, they'll try again later, right?! It's like being fast asleep and cozy in your bed under the duvet and the alarm goes off to get ready for work. Know the feeling?! I'm sure you do.

Your comfort zone may bring you a feeling of safety but it will never challenge you, your comfort zone will never bring you anything new in your life, your comfort zone is where you are, right now - you are not evolving.
Jim Kwik has a saying that I absolutely love - "If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them". And it is so true.

Your comfort zone, however cozy it is, is your limitations. If you don't dare to take action to stretch them, go beyond them to either overcome your fears and obstacles or improve your inner and outer life, you are doomed to live a limited life.

Getting out of your comfort zone is necessary and an unavoidable step to progress. It is unpredictable and this nature will always make it scary. What if I lose what I already have? What if I can't do it? The truth is, no progress can come without change. And while you can most certainly plan, always keep in mind that things don't always go according to plans. The nature of change is to challenge the status quo and the progress you will make and the lessons you will learn from these experiences will depend on how you react to these experiences.

Many changes in our lives are often thrust upon us, we are not the initiator, we just have to suffer it, roll with it, but by no means are we powerless about these experiences. We get to choose how we react to these events and experiences in the best possible way that will benefit us, eventually.
In that respect, your mindset will play an essential part on how you are going to take on board any change, beneficial or detrimental, and a clear mind and objective outlook will be your best friends in this journey.

Any change will challenge your comfort zone but any change can also add to the value and quality of your life. Your comfort zone, to start with, should be what you want to have and experience, not what you settle for. You are worth so much more than that.
If your comfort zone happens to be what you settle for, you have ultimately 2 choices - tell yourself that it's enough for you and take unexpected changes in your stride the best you can, or make the changes you want in your life happen and step out of your comfort zone.

The first option is the safe option but there is not likely going to be much improvement in the quality of your life. The second option is the "scary shit" option - it's not safe, not guaranteed to work, not predictable, but it's the best chance you have to achieve your heart's desires. It is like with the lottery, you can't win it if you're not in it! At the end of the day, happiness and fulfillment are your ultimate goals and, sorry to break it out, life is not a spectator's sport, you have to be a participant and take conscious and deliberate action. As Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world". It all starts with you taking action and being that person. Because without change, there is no progress.

Stepping out of your comfort zone, however, does not have to be as drastic as quitting your day job at the drop of the hat to sell everything you own and go to Tibet to become a Buddhist monk (unless of course that is what you want to achieve). Baby steps are just as significant, especially if you are not a natural risk-taker or stepping out of your comfort zone is a new sport for you. You first start jogging, not running the marathon! You can get bigger and more daring as you go along and get used to it. It can be as small as trying one new food every week or get up 5 minutes early for a 5-minute workout, or start journaling about your hopes and dreams to discover what your true purpose is.

Growing as a soul and an individual in this world is all down to you - both on how you decide to react to change and how to make it happen. We often feel powerless and let things happen to us but, in reality, the vast majority of the time, we do have the power to choose, even if on small things. Just be patient and gentle with yourself. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day - it's not magic. It takes work, dedication and effort to create the life you desire.

You may wonder, when is the right time? How can I make change happen for me? Often, it will take something - an event, a person, a feeling - to tell yourself "Enough with this" and commit to make the change you need for your best life and your best self happen. Any goal you have, for you to truly commit to it and not give up halfway, you will always need a strong "why", an emotional state and attachment that will motivate you to get there, because the change is better than the "enough with this". You know the famous quote, "And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom".
Writing down what you expect to achieve, what needs to change and what your plan is for making it happen will support you to, first, not forget - you think about doing something, you're determined and the next minute, before you know it, it's totally gone. In my world, if it's not written down, it's gone up to the fairies! - Then, it will support you to take action. Whether the plan works or not, you will always take something from it. Firstly, there is always Plans B, C, D, E... and your problem solving skills will evolve and expand, increasing your creativity and helping you see other ways and possibilities. Also, the fact of deciding to create change shifts your mindset entirely from a victim, can't do anything, negative thinking attitude, into a winner, adventurer, positive mindset. You can never defeat a positive mindset; it will always kick back and search for other ways to work. Having the gift of a positive mindset will also help you notice and value the things you already have in your life. Reaching for the stars is one thing but gratitude is everything. You might want reach for something you already have and waste your efforts you could use for reaching a different star to brighten your sky. By missing the gratitude, you will never be satisfied.

I love this illustration below that uncovers the different stages of stepping out of your comfort zone. It is like a map to success, you just have to build the bridge between your comfort zone and the learning zone to get to Happyland:

Positive mindset, gratitude and a clear mind and vision are your superpowers in this quest. Your comfort zone will be shed away for brighter adventures. But keep in mind that what you achieve will soon become your comfort zone, so, really, the process never stops in order for us to grow and flourish. It is an essential part of the human experience.

Sunday Journaling Prompt #13

Hello my fellow journalers

Please find below our new quote for this wintery Sunday -

As always, you are totally free to interpret this any way you prefer. Whatever inspires you.
It can be a sentence, a quote, a saying or several inspirational words.

Explore as deep as you can and enjoy the process.

Where Have Our Manners Gone?

Do you remember the good old days when men were holding doors and chairs for ladies, people were queuing and driving like civilised people, and Please and Thank You were automatic?

I do - my parents were pretty strict about politeness and manners, and I'm glad they were because, to me, they are a natural thing. They are a mark of respect to others, fairness and, well simple logic. Who would want to be treated disrespectfully and unfairly? No one that I know of.

However, these days, manners seem to be mainly a thing of the past, a rare thing. Kids push you to get on the bus before you, even if you've been waiting for over half an hour and they just turned up 20 seconds ago, people eating your lunch you left in the fridge at work for later... Only a couple of examples of bad manners that I have experienced numerous times. And when I say "kids", really, I mean every one from kids, to adults and pensioners.
People can be so rude nowadays and it seems from people's reactions that it's normal.

Lack of manners is one of my pet peeves. I absolutely HATE it (yes, "hate" and it is not too strong). My blood pressure goes up the roof straight away. I cannot control the impulse, but I do manage, after a few seconds, to gradually let it go - it takes a good while though! Another episode of unnecessary stress caused by others into our lives.
People shouting across the bus to have a chat - what the f**k?! Can't one of them move so they can sit together? Don't they notice that people don't need, neither do they want, to hear their conversation? I have my sound blocking headphones on listening to my music or audiobook full blast, yet I can still hear EVERY single thing they say!! Are they doing it on purpose? I mean, is it just me it bothers or what?
This is a flagrant demonstration of a total lack of respect for other people's private space, comfort and peace.

The world we live in is all about fast pace. Whatever you do, you got to be quick to move on to the next thing. Mobile devices are isolating people in their own little world, totally oblivious and even disregarding other people's world, values and boundaries. Social media connect people in such an impersonal way that you will find many "befriending" people they barely know, sharing every private detail of their lives. The rage of selfies, posting and sharing about your life seems to bring people's focus on themselves - blatantly ignoring whatever and whoever is not part of their world, alienating themselves from the outside world. How many Likes did my post or photo get? Surely, there should be more essential things to life than this.
No wonder people are losing their manners to others. We have lost the direct connection to others, whether we know them or not, and with that the basic understanding and respect that we should have for all human beings.

Let us not forget, we are all, after all, part of the same family, the same species, the same planet, we all share the same air we breathe, we all feel the same emotions when we win and when we lose. Manners, and therefore respect, are the manifestation of the values we share and our common belonging. By disrespecting others, we disrespect ourselves. Not one human being is above the others, we all get to realise that and learn it the hard way in some way or another at some point in our lives.

I remember one of my dad's school books that I still have - dated from the 1930s - teaching morality and manners, how to behave and treat others with the respect they deserve - that we all deserve.
Surely this should come back into the schools' curriculum for a new generation to rediscover and re-instill into the world the art of politeness, manners and respect. At the end of the day, manners don't cost anything and don't make you look weak or less than.

Please, that would be nice. For my blood pressure's sake and the sake of humanity! Thank you...

Sunday Journaling Prompt #12

Happy late Sunday everyone

Back with a new journaling prompt for you

Now that we are in the last month of 2019, this prompt has perfect timing to review your year and see what you‘ve got left to achieve - after all there is still time.

Obviously, like with any prompt, you can interpret it as a life-long review. As always, you are the boss of your journaling!

Enjoy...