Affirmation Wednesday

 

GOING DEEPER 

What makes you happy?

What activities bring you happiness?

What does happiness feel like to you?

Do you believe that you deserve to be happy? Why?/why not?

What needs to happen for you to feel worthy of being happy?

What gets in the way of your happiness and doing activities that make you feel happy?

What can you do to minimise this?

Chakras For Beginners

The term "chakra" seems to belong to the New Age world but, really, it affects us all as living beings.

Chakras' concept was first found in the early (1st millenium BC) traditions of Hinduism, but has now taken its rightful place in Holistic therapies and medicine, as well as well-being practices.

The Chakras are energy centres within our body that help regulate all its processes, from organ function to immune system and emotions.  Think of them as electric power stations where the energy is originated and flows to be distributed to all power lines across a town/area/country to make all lights, TVs, kettles, radiators work and fulfill their function.

Our bodies are made of energy and its energy is primarily concentrated in these chakra centres to flow throughout our body. The word "chakra" comes from Sanskrit and means "wheel". Indeed, the energy in each chakra flows in a spinning motion like a wheel, in a clockwise direction.

There are 7 main chakras recognised, each representing an area of the body and has a specific function. They are positioned along the spinal column as in shown on the image below, from the tailbone to the top of the head. Each chakra is also represented by a colour, as the colour's vibration corresponds to the vibration created by the functioning chakra.

Our chakras work together, which means that if one is deficient or overactive, it will affect the remaining chakras and constant flow of energy throughout your body. For our optimum health, our chakras need to be balanced to function to their best abilities.

When a chakra is not functioning properly, we say that it is blocked. The energy is blocked, not flowing and builds up within you, creating imbalances. It needs to be released to feel more balanced in the body and mind. We call this clearing a chakra.

Blocked chakras, to be more down to earth, affect us negatively on a physical and emotional level. Indigestion as well as lack of self-esteem and confidence are but some of the physical and emotional signs of a solar plexus chakra block.

As esoteric as chakras may seem to the modern person, deeply rooted in believing what they see and consider anything that is not science or fact based to be a lot of baloney, they however have very real consequences and manifestations on our physical and emotional worlds.

Actually, the presence of chakras in our bodies was scientifically observed and recorded as far as late 1920s by C.W. Leadbeater in "The Chakras - A Monograph".

The chakras system is composed, as we mentioned earlier, of 7 main chakras: the root chakra, the sacral chakra, the solar plexus chakra, the heart chakra, the throat chakra, the third eye chakra and the crown chakra. Please see below in the illustration each chakra's main properties.

And here are the body areas that each chakra corresponds to and are affected by block.

As you can see, imbalances of chakras can influence us on a very deep level both physically and emotionally/intellectually.

I had heard of chakras for a long time without really knowing what they were apart from some "New Age" term (yes, I used to be one of these sceptics!).
My first experience of the chakras came to me last year when I discovered Sonic Yogi on the Insight Timer app. I was listening to one of his instrumental singing bowl and music pieces - he has one for each chakra. I first listened to them to relax and help me destress and sleep. But while listening, I could feel vibrations in different parts of my body. That felt really weird at first. This is when I started to research a bit more on what these chakras were all about and realised that, if I listened to the root chakra song, the base of my spine - tailbone, pubic bone - and surrounding area were vibrating. With the awareness of what the music was doing, I was able to enjoy the experience and make it help me by unblocking my chakras. 
Indeed, genuine chakra singing bowls resonate at the exact frequency the chakra it corresponds to resonate.

As we live in a fast pace modern world, even if the last few months have been for many of us a wake-up call to slow down without having any choice in the matter, this lifestyle creates many sources of stress that inevitably create imbalance. We are all bound to have imbalances chakras to varying degrees.

The question now is, how can we balance and clear our chakras of negative energy and blocks?

Luckily, there are many ways  this can be achieved. Here are but a few options:

SOUND

As I mentioned above, Tibetan singing bowls or music will assist in balancing particular chakras. The Insight Timer app is a great source, but so is YouTube. Just search " chakra music" and hundreds of results will come up.

Sound can range from singing bowls, musical instruments, synthesizers or voices. Each chakra also has a "sound" called Bija Mantra that resonates at the chakras' frequency.

Root: LAM [lum]

Sacral: VAM [vum]

Solar plexus: RAM [rum]

Heart: YAM [yum]

Throat: HAM [hum]

Third eye: U

Crown: OM

By repeating these mantras, your own voice activates each of your chakras.

BREATH WORK AND MEDITATION

Again, Insight Timer has a great selection of these. While meditating, you focus your attention on a particular chakra area and breathe into it to bring it more oxygen, space, energy.

AFFIRMATIONS/MANTRAS

As you might have noticed in the information diagram, I have included an affirmation example for each chakra, but once you understand what each chakra represents, you will be able to create your own affirmations that suit your particular current experience. Affirmations are positive statements that put you in a positive and motivating mindset. If you believe you can, then you will. This faith, or certainty, will bring your body and mind to positive frequencies that will align with your chakras.

YOGA

Breath and movement together to strengthen and re-balance your body and mind. Different yoga poses activate different chakras. I love the chakra series from Allie The Journey Junkie on YouTube (yoga sessions, plus chakra chats - so informative), as well as Yoga With Adrienne's chakra videos, and FightMasterYoga's "Yoga For Chakra Balancing" video, all on YouTube, and all free.

AROMATHERAPY

It is the science of using essential oils. Scents have holistic properties on our body and minds - we've all had lavender pouches or room mists to try to calm down and de-stress.

Certain essential oils mixed with carrier oils such as sweet almond oil (one of the cheapest and most accessible, but there are so many more) can be applied on chakra areas, or can be used in a diffuser. Caution note: never use essential oils pure on the skin, never ingest or put essential oils on the eye area, inside the mouth, nose or ears, as well as genital and anal parts. Also, if you suffer from any medical condition, always check with a professional aromatherapist which essential oils you need to avoid. These oils are very potent.

Suggestions for each chakra - 

Root: Patchouli (also stimulates sacral chakra), or Cypress essential oils

Sacral: Neroli (also stimulates heart chakra), or Ylang Ylang essential oils

Solar Plexus: Pine (also stimulates heart chakra), or ginger essential oils

Heart: Rosewood, rose, or jasmine essential oils

Throat: Lavender, or Roman chamomile essential oils

Third eye: Sandalwood, or rosemary essential oils

Crown: Lime, or frankincense essential oils

COLOURS

Wear or surround yourself with chakra colours.

MASSAGE

Massaging areas of the body corresponding to the chakras can help activate this chakra. By massaging, you increase blood flow.

You can follow the guidelines from this link HERE for easy massage tips on Chakra massage.

GRATITUDE

Practising gratitude puts you in a more positive mindset, which, in turn, raises your body's and mind's frequency. Higher frequencies give a sense of more vitality, energy and joy, enabling balance by freeing the energy flow.

VISUALISATION

Similar to meditation but using your imagination (your third eye chakra). Again, there are plenty of visualisations on Insight Timer and on YouTube; just search "chakra visualisation".

HEALING THROUGH CRYSTALS

Place the crystals on each corresponding chakra place on the body, or you can wear the crystals as jewellery (pendant, bracelets). Here are a few suggestions for each chakra:

Root: red and black crystals such as red garnet, red jasper, smoky quartz, black onyx, hematite

Sacral: carnelian, orange calcite, tiger's eye, sunstone

Solar Plexus: yellow gemstones such as citrine, yellow jasper, rutilated quartz, pyrite

Heart: green and pink stones such as chrysoprase, aventurine, rose quartz, rhodonite

Throat: angelite, sodalite, blue apatite, aquamarine

Third Eye: lapis lazuli, sodalite, fluorite, amethyst

Crown: clear quartz, amethyst, senelite, moonstone

On top of their healing properties (again, you have to believe it for it to work), they are lovely decorative elements as well. I like keeping some crystals in my little altar/sacred space for my card of the day, as inspiration and support.

I hope this introduction to the chakras would have given you a better understanding of what they are and how they can affect you, as well as ways to find balance in your health and life.

Sunday Journaling Prompt #15

Sunday Journaling Prompt #14

Yes, the Sunday Journaling Prompts are back!
Now more than ever is journaling essential to our mental health and general well-being. So, every Sunday, a prompt will be posted on the blog, Facebook and Instagram for you to reflect on during the coming week.

A journaling prompt can be revisited many times, not just single-use, as we change daily.

So without further chatting from me, straight to the meat of things, I present you this Sunday's Journaling Prompt:

My Life On Lockdown - So Far

This crisis the world is experiencing at the moment is beyond unusual, unique and frightening. As the death toll keeps rising daily, most of us are locked away, at home, hopefully safe and sound.

While we are all so grateful to our essential workers around the world for being out there and keep our world turning around for us all, we can't help but think and fear for their safety. Some of these everyday heroes may even be part of your family or dear friends, which makes the agony even so much more personal and close to home.

When this all began here in the UK, my first experience with it was while doing my regular weekly food shop on a Saturday morning, to realise that, at 9 am, there was barely anything left in the shop! No canned food, no frozen food, no pasta, no rice, no bread, no gluten free stuff apart from lasagna sheets, no toilet paper. And I thought to myself, "what a bunch of selfish and irresponsible idiots!" Photos in the media of elderly people facing empty shelves literally broke my heart. This panic buying, I later realised, is well beyond being utterly selfish (even though I still think it is) - it is also for some people a coping mechanism in times of crisis. Loss of control will bring a hyperaction in areas of your life you CAN actually control, to counterbalance the equation, leading to this type of compulsive behaviour.

A week after this happened, I started working from home for a couple of weeks, which I was quite lucky to be able to do, as my buses were being reduced to one per hour. During this time, I avoided going outside, only for cash and food shop. I did go one morning to my local park for a short run, which felt great, but learning that you spread more germs in the air that way really put me off, especially when there were people walking their dogs - which they have to do. It didn't seem fair on them.

I was then off on holiday for a week, and my days followed pretty much the same pattern. After my holiday, I was put on the furlough scheme, which I was quite grateful for, because, in these circumstances, my head just wasn't with phoning customers to get sales or sorting out purchase invoices. So furlough for me was a complete relief.

I am a natural indoors person and have many hobbies and interests that are indoor-orientated so, I have to admit, staying home does not bother me; it gives me the chance to do what I usually struggle to find time to do on normal weeks. I genuinely feel for outdoorsy people, being stuck at home, feeling trapped, almost claustrophobic. I know many people like this and, having spoken to some, all they want is go back to work, even if it means exposing themselves to risk, so they can be out of their house.

This is when mental health plays an essential part. Their habitual mental health preserving techniques are all mostly based on outdoors so it is a dangerous pitfall, and I am not surprised to hear people falling into depression on top of being scared about the situation of our world and people's health.

As I have plenty to do to entertain myself, I felt for quite a few weeks that this crisis hadn't affected me too much in that respect. I have Netflix, Amazon Video and Now TV, so plenty to watch (even though, apart from following my regular shows and binge-watching season 3 and new season 4 of The Last Kingdom, I haven't really watched TV that much). I started de-cluttering my living room - still a long way to go -, finished an online course I was studying, started a new one, journalled A LOT to get it all out of my system rather than bottling it all in, homeschooling my teenage son on things I have no clue about, reading, exercising regularly as part of my morning routine, and started SoulCollage. So I definitely haven't been bored for the last 5 weeks of furlough.

But, between the very real threat to our lives, the conflicting information from the media and our leaders' ways of handling the situation, it has brought to me feelings of fear, worry, uncertainty, anxiety, sadness and sometimes anger. I have had in the last few weeks more nightmares that I ever had in my whole adult life and I know that this is because of it all. Our worlds have been turned upside down and, while you would hope that when this is all over we would build societies and a world much better, kinder, compassionate, tolerant and fairer than we've considered "normal" all these past decades, you can't help but wonder when and how, and what in the meantime? The newly-established routines that now support me, will I be able to maintain them when I go back to work and the business of life from before? These are big questions that we currently find very hard, almost impossible to answer. An additional source of stress and worry.

I have managed to somewhat preserve my mental health by keeping busy, doing things I thoroughly enjoy, some less as they are necessary, journalling a lot (if you are new to journaling as I was, despite numerous attempts in the past, I HIGHLY recommend Jennibellie's free class "7 Day Journaling Journey"), resting when I needed to and keeping some kind of routines. I have also used BlessingManifesting's prompts and affirmation graphics on Instagram and Patreon, as well as her self-care and mental health worksheets. I have not necessarily used them the way they're meant to, but just reading the prompts and affirmations and thinking about them was often enough to support me in my mental health journey through these scary and unstable times. Meditation and relaxing music from the Insight Timer app have also helped me find my centre and my peace, as well as Wim Hof Method breathing exercises.

Having my son with me and my cats is definitely my basic support system as I truly don't know how I would have handled all this on my own if my son had been on lockdown at his dad's. That would have more than likely been a very different story.

I've had plenty of good days, for which I am ever so grateful and feel blessed, some OK-days when I felt I didn't accomplish much, and also a few bad days. Yesterday was from the latter category. Probably one of the worst I've had since it all started. I did my morning routine as usual, watched a couple of Youtube videos, had lunch then, BAM! - massive headache. I battled through the early afternoon but, to be honest, it seems very foggy to me. As I am prone to debilitating migraines, I decided to listen to my body and went to bed with a book and relaxing music. I just couldn't focus on the words, I couldn't rest and in the end I just decided to have a nap at about 4 pm. Woke up at about 7.30 pm, all groggy, feeling drained and past my dinner time for optimum digestion, and I knew it - feeling extremely frustrated and defeated. My evening routine was out of the window and that made me feel even worse. Internal ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) crawling around my brain. I went to sleep 2 hours later and woke up twice in the night with nightmares, in a state of fright and panic. Not a good night at all.

Today, I still got up normal time with my alarm and feel a little bit better but still sensitive. I will have an easy day and if that means that the dishes and the laundry will stay exactly where they are all day, and that lunch and dinner will solely consist of cheese and ham toasties, nuts and fruits, then so be it.

Now more than ever, it is essential to listen to your body and not fall into the guilt-trip if you had a "lazy" day. When I plunge into this guilt-trip with everything I've got, I always remind myself that the natural state of our bodies is to move AND recuperate, and the natural state of our mind is rest, peace, bliss. Your "lazy" days are actually your "recharge your batteries" days and are vital to your well-being, both physically and mentally.

Take care of yourselves, nurture yourself to maintain a healthy mental and physical health, and stay safe. 

Much love to you all x

THE POWER OF ACHIEVING

We have a strong culture of achievement in our society - we are judged and valued against what we can show for our achievements, and success is measured by what job you do, how much money you have in your bank account, what car you drive, what clothes you wear, what skincare and make up brands you use...

This has placed a tremendous amount of pressure on people to keep appearances and give the show of being great successes and achievers.

Students from any levels are put under the pressure of exams to show how “intelligent or dumb” they are. If they want to fit in and guarantee themselves a bright future, they just HAVE to achieve. Desired universities and colleges will only accept students above a certain grade, putting even more pressure on students.

Achievement is an integral part of our society and, while a very worthwhile goal, it is also a stigma and a source of stress for many. The pressure of achieving is sometimes given a bad name.

However, achievement puts you instantly into the mindset of positivity. We’ve all been there - we passed our exams, got our dream job, jumped off an airplane, climbed that mountain... and while the journey to this achievement might have been trying or even painful, once you’re there: WOW, what a feeling!

It is this feeling that I would like to focus on in this article. This feeling that, despite all the obstacles on the way, you made it. You got what you wanted. You’re a winner.

Admiral McRaven beautifully explains how making your bed first thing in the morning gets you into that winning feeling. It is so important to  start your day on a positive note - it keeps you in the mood of achieving. By making your bed (properly) this morning, you succeeded at the very first task of the day. By taking all the tasks you have to do throughout your day one at a time, you can focus more on what you are doing and have a greater chance of completing it successfully, especially if you are on positive vibes.

Indeed, when you are achieving any task, big or small, your brain sends signals to your glands to produce 4 essential hormones to positivity - dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphin (DOSE). These hormones, apart from promoting feelings of happiness, are also key to producing the perfect psychological environment for achieving.  They promote optimism, raise your energy levels, encourage the ability to connect with people by being open, create a higher focus which in turn increases your drive and confidence. I mean, with all these attributes at your disposal, you have no other choice but to automatically achieve, even without trying - well maybe you should try anyway, it can’t hurt!

Achieving has therefore very little to do with willpower or being lazy. It has everything to do with conditioning your mind, from the first moment you wake up, and drive this feeling through the rest of your day. 

Gratitude, in that respect, is totally an integral part of achieving. By recognising and giving thanks for what you already have in your life, you know that you are already a winner and the DOSE hormones will keep flowing throughout your body.

As Admiral McRaven says in his amazing and inspiring speech “the little things matter - if you can’t do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right”. Click HERE to watch an extract of his speech on YouTube. 

The little things are a lot easier to deal with than the big things, but we all know that the big things will always turn up in our lives. By training ourselves to pay attention to the day-to-day tasks and completing these successfully, we are creating a habit of achieving and constantly finding moments of happiness in our lives.

Sunday Journaling Prompt #13

Hello my fellow journalers

Please find below our new quote for this wintery Sunday -

As always, you are totally free to interpret this any way you prefer. Whatever inspires you.
It can be a sentence, a quote, a saying or several inspirational words.

Explore as deep as you can and enjoy the process.

The Time Is Always Now

Fast-paced lives, looking towards the future, making plans for a better tomorrow, or dwelling on the past, reliving your life's worst traumatic events or most uncomfortable and embarrassing experiences, wishing we could turn back time and do things differently. If only... that's often what we live by. If only I could get a bonus next month, if only I hadn't said that, if only I could win the lottery then I would.

While reliving our life or wishing it away, we totally miss what actually happens to us, right now, in the Present moment.

Have you ever noticed that when your mind is racing with past experiences and preferred alternative outcomes, or you are busy thinking about future plans filled with excitement or dread, you barely breathe? Enough to be alive, for sure, but not deeply, in a restorative manner and purposefully. It is also true when we are stressed, by the way. Breathe...

The Present moment is actually all we have, it is who we are. What we were in the past is gone and what we will be or do in the future hasn't happened yet, some part of it at least out of our control, and, for many various reasons, it might never happen.

It is not to discard the amazing value of the past, learning from our experiences and growing, and the future, making plans and working towards worthy goals to better yourself, your environment and/or your community, but to refocus our attention to the fact that, by forgetting the Present moment, a beautiful piece of the puzzle, we do not live our life fully, enjoying even the little things, consciously. We let it slide and give the power to external sources to lead our life for us.

Focusing on the present moment can be as simple as focusing on your breathing and body response, on your sensations when walking outside - the breeze on your skin, the ground below your feet, the energy in your body when in motion, or stillness, the sun shining in your eyes, the birds singing in the trees, or the dogs barking! Or observing people and surroundings on the bus. When you start focusing on the present moment, you will immediately notice that you automatically slow down. You are not judgmental, you are but an observer of yourself, your inner space, as well as everything around you. Everything and everyone is part of a whole. You feel more alive as you've ever been. It is a beautiful experience.

In a previous article, I presented the Wake Up Your Senses exercise. If you're not sure where to start and you feel that only focusing on your breath will be boring, this is a great exercise to start fully being in the Present moment. For the Present moment is where you truly exist. You know the famous saying, "There is no time like the Present", really, there truly isn't. All our fully lived experiences and sensations happened there - or should I say, here.

The present moment not only opens doors to your fully conscious living, experiencing every sensation possible, but also to opportunities in your relationships to others. The Perfect Time is always now to let a colleague or a loved one know how grateful you are to have them in your life and how much you appreciate them, or notice something amazing or brave they have done.
I fully understand that now that both my parents have died and, despite our complicated relationship, I never told them how much I loved them, even if I wanted to on many occasions while they were still alive, but felt too embarrassed to do so.

Taking the present moment as is and experiencing it as is helps you fight the inner struggle and the barriers you put on yourself that prevent you from moving forward, because we always move forward, in the end - into the next Present moment.

Keeping our gaze on the Present moment opens up your mind and intuition, makes you more open to possibilities and solutions, more compassionate towards yourself and others, and is the best remedy I know against regrets and missed opportunities.

Live your life fully and enjoy it NOW - Carpe Diem, seize the day - fully and consciously.

Sunday Journaling Prompt #11

Happy Sunday journaling. Now for another prompt:

What is your best life story?

Until next week...

Sunday Journaling Prompt #8

Happy Sunday to you all.

After a laptop-free home break, I am back to the blog this Sunday for our next journaling prompt:

This question is often easy to answer for people around you, but not so easy for you.

Take a good honest look inside yourself and at your experiences and achievements in life (big and small), and you will find your answers.

YOU MATTER and you are UNIQUE.

Until next week...

Gluten Free Flatbread Recipe

Eating healthy is very important for me. But, as a true food lover, there is no way I will ever compromise on delicious and tasty food.

As I am gluten sensitive, I have to be extra careful to what I eat and, while there are many products that have gluten free options, they are often more expensive.

Also I have been avoiding ready-made foods with added preservatives and sugar so homemade options are often much better for me. I am therefore always on the lookout for easy and quick gluten free no sugar recipes - don't really want to spend most of the very little free time I have cooking and baking.

This recipe for yummy gluten free flatbread only takes a few minutes to make and cook, and you can even freeze the extra flatbread pieces for later.

INGREDIENTS FOR BASIC RECIPE:

• 2 measuring cups of gluten free self-raising flour (I used white flour but you can use brown if available) + extra for dusting
• 1 measuring cup of full fat plain Greek yogurt
• 1 sachet of yeast (7g)
• 1/2 sachet of bicarbonate soda
• vegetable oil
• a griddle, pancake pan or large frying pan

For the flatbread pieces on the photo, I added 1 teaspoon of turmeric, 2 handfuls of grated mozzarella and an extra teaspoon of yogurt.

RECIPE (For about 10 flatbread pancakes/patties)

• Mix the flour, yeast and bicarbonate of soda (and any other dry ingredients, if customising);
• Add the yogurt and mix until you get a soft dough-like texture. You might get some crumbles (I did) and that's no big deal;
• Very lightly oil your pan (I put some oil on a piece of kitchen towel and covered my pancake pan by rubbing on the oil) and put on medium heat;
• In the meantime, grab a piece of the dough and create a patty by rolling the dough between your hands and creating a ball. Ensure you dust generously as the dough will be sticky otherwise. Dust a flat clean surface and flatten the ball gently and evenly with the palm of your hand to create a small pancake, ensuring it is dusted with flour on both sides - mine were about 3-5 mm thick;
• When the pan/griddle is hot, place the flatbread pieces to cook. You only need to leave them for 1 minute or so each side, then flip each side again for a few seconds on a second round. Use a spatula to flip and remove the flatbread pieces to ensure you do not get burnt;
• The flatbread patties can be left on a plate to cool down or eaten warm. 

If you are freezing some of the patties, let them cool down and separate each by placing a piece of baking/parchment paper in between to avoid them sticking together.

Once cold, the flatbread can be toasted in a regular toaster to eat warm at a later time.

They are easy to make and customisable. You can make them savoury (with cheese or any small savoury ingredients) or sweet (by adding honey/vanilla extract/dried fruits). If you do customise them, always ensure that whatever ingredients you add are leveled in the basic recipe. If you add dry ingredients (like I did with the cheese and turmeric), always add a little bit more yogurt. If you add any "wet" ingredients (eg. liquid vanilla extract, syrup or honey), make sure that you add more flour.

Whoever said that eating healthy had to be boring and bland?!

Bon appetit...

Sunday Journaling Prompt #7

Happy Sunday, my dear journalers.

This week's journaling prompt below:

With everything going on around us and in our lives, other people's expectations, society's expectations, it can be so easy to truly lose yourself.

This week, I'm asking you to reflect on what makes you feel YOU and keep these in mind to use as a compass when you feel you're losing your way.

Enjoy...

Wake Up Your Senses

This is a simple exercise that I have included in my meditation practice, but can be done any time really - even at work when your stress levels are hitting the roof. It only takes a minute or 2, so your colleagues won't think you've fallen asleep!

I have found this practice to be very calming and grounding, and it also develops your senses to become more attentive and receptive to what is going on around you.

We have 5 recognised senses - sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch - but most of us will mainly rely on 2 or 3 to navigate through life. Senses are like muscles, the less you engage them, the less responsive they will become in time.

The technique:

• Sit down comfortably but straight with your back supported (you can also lie down if you want to do this exercise in bed or at the end of your yoga practice, for instance). You do not need to be in a quiet place;
  
• Close your eyes and relax - breathe slowly and deeply for 4-5 breaths;
  
• Focus on what you can hear close to you (or inside you) - it can be your breathing, your heart beating, often I can hear internal buzzing - whatever comes to you. Don't force it and do not think about what you should hear. Just listen and pick it up;
  
• Focus on what you can hear further away - kids playing near you, cars outside;
  
• Then switch to what you can see with your eyes closed - I know it sounds pretty contradictory, but even with your eyes closed, light does go through your eyelids, so you are still able to see specks of light, or maybe colours. I very often can see the blood vessels in my eyeballs, the same way I do when I have an eye test; at the beginning, it really freaked me out but I have now learnt to make my peace with it;
  
• Next, focus on what you can smell - it can be a fragrance or the smell of cold, rain, warm... That is the one sense that I personally struggle the most with in this exercise, even though I can always smell someone's perfume on the bus, even if they are at the very back;
  
• Then, focus on what you can taste - from your bad morning breath to the delicious chocolates you've just gobbled up!
  
• After this, focus on what you can touch, what you can feel - your bum sitting on the chair, your clothes on your skin, your hair falling on your neck or your forehead, your watch around your wrist - anything. Again, as for all the other senses, stay with it, observe it internally, enjoy it;
  
• Finally, repeat all the steps briefly but, instead on focusing on each sense individually, layer them up one by one to eventually feel all your 5 senses fully active. Hold them and enjoy the experience of what it feels like to be fully human;
  
• Finish by a few deep breaths and slowly open your eyes to come back to where you are.

The order in which you go through the senses, both individually and in the last phase, doesn't really matter. You can go with the order that you feel most comfortable or natural for you. It will not alter the effects.

Have a try and let me know how your experience was, either by commenting below, or on the Facebook page HERE. I'd love to hear what you thought of this exercise.

Enjoy x

How Food Intolerance Took Me Back On Track With Food

I think that, over the years, my relationship with food was pretty much standard - eating quick, snacking, massive love for chocolate and cakes, huge love for food overall, food always makes you feel better when things go wrong or are too stressful. Crisps, ready meals, carbs full blast, takeaways. And, when I was unemployed and on super minimal budget, Value food - cheap and nasty, but better than no food at all.

Until about 2 years ago - I started having belly cramps, more and more often and more and more uncomfortable (sometimes painful). At one point, it got so bad that I ended up in the toilets every 20 minutes - how embarrassing when I was at work.

I knew my diet was not, and hadn't been for many years, particularly good.

When my mum died two years ago, something clicked inside me and I made the conscious decision to eat more healthy - that roughly meant for me adding more fruits and vegs to my diet.

But the cramps did not subside. I didn't get it.

I started a food diary to monitor, every day, everything I was eating and drinking.

After a month or so, I started to identify foods I was eating all the time. It also kept me accountable for keeping up with my greens intake.

One of my colleagues suffers from coeliac disease and, when I mentioned my health problem, he immediately suggested to start an elimination process. I started with everything that had gluten. I replaced my bread and pasta (the main foods I was eating) with gluten free alternatives.

Little by little, the symptoms diminished. I still had the occasional cake or cookie and I was OK. Only for a short while though. I soon had to stop as, every time I was having a piece of gluten-based cake or biscuit, the symptoms would be back with a vengeance after only half hour to an hour.

This forced me to be even more aware as to what foods I was putting in my body. By carefully looking at the ingredients lists before buying, I realised that a lot of what we eat is full of chemical additives, most of them you can't even pronounce. I have now the rule that if you can't say it, there is a fair chance you shouldn't be eating it.

A lot of processed foods also have added sugar, adding considerable amounts into our bodies.

Sugar actually increases appetite - don't you find that once you've had a sweet, you want another one? Food companies, by adding sugar to our foods, make you want to eat more, and therefore buy more. It's a vicious circle and, in the meantime, you are endangering your health one step at a time. There is a reason why our century has known the biggest percentage of obesity in our history.

Being in my mid-forties, my health has become increasingly more important as the state of my health now will determine the quality of my life in my later years - and that's motivation enough for me to protect it as much as I can.

I started reading diets articles and there are so many diets - keto, paleo, vegetarian, vegan, meal replacement, eggs only, coffee, mediterranean, flexitarian, low carb and whole food, Atkins, DASH, Dukan, calorie restriction, high protein, carb cycling... So many you lose count, and a lot of them contradict each other. It is overwhelming and confusing, especially if you are unsure what to look for. What the heck are you supposed to eat to be healthy?!

Bearing in mind that what you eat accounts for over 90% of your health level and your body shape, it seems to me that this world out there in the media has got it all wrong.

Exercise, yes, but not an hour each day, exhausting yourself and damaging your body (torn ligaments, muscle pull and strain...) - overdoing it will take its toll on you - and especially when it only accounts for 10% of your body shape and state of your health.

You would think that talking to your doctor about it would help but, believe it or not, traditional medical training does rarely cover nutrition unless you specialise. So, no offense but What do doctors know about food? It was obvious to me that I would not get any genuine help there so I didn't bother asking.

I decided to start an online course on nutrition and, even though I'm only on Lesson 5, it has given me a good starting understanding on nutrients essential to good health and how the digestive system works. It has helped me to focus on the health of my digestive system, keeping it clean, and keeping away from the uncomfortable bloating symptoms (something I had suffered for most of my life).

I do not eat processed foods, foods with added sugar. I eat fresh or frozen foods, organic when I can to avoid pesticide traces.

I snack on nuts, yogurts and fruits, make my own healthy gluten-free snacks, go gluten-free all the way.

I ensure I include in all my main meals (breakfast - lunch - dinner) proteins, greens, healthy fats and carbs and, for my snacks (2 or 3 a day in between meals), at least 2 of them.

I don't use sugar, I replaced it with raw honey, only occasionally, on fruit salads, in warm milk, plain yogurt and porridge.

I don't buy ready-made sauces, I make them from scratch, and I use spices and herbs to flavour my food - especially with rice and pasta, quite bland if not seasoned.

I drink water throughout the day and during my meals, even though I am not a big fan. My trick is to infuse my water with washed fresh citrus peels or fresh herbs (I love mint leaves in water). I also drink green tea and herbal teas, as well as fresh orange juice (only for breakfast).

I also take good quality natural supplements to ensure all my nutritional needs are met (Nu U Nutrition Multivitamins & Minerals Formula, and Omega 3 Fish Oil).

The first thing I ingest when I get up (before eating or drinking anything else) is a mug of warm water (whatever is comfortable and not too hot to drink for you) with a teaspoon of lemon juice and a teaspoon of raw apple cider vinegar (with the mother, which is the active ingredient). It cleanses your digestive system in no time. Additionally, the warm water - close to your body's natural temperature - prepares your digestive system gently. Nothing worse for you to start the day with a glass of freezing cold water. If the apple cider vinegar is too much for you, start with the lemon juice only and, after a few weeks, add the apple cider vinegar.

I have been doing this every morning for almost a month now and, not only am I super regular (sorry for the "too much information" here, however it is important), but also I don't remember feeling bloated a single time during that period.

I was worried at first as I have been on tablets for over 2 years for gastric reflux, so the acidic nature of the lemon juice and the vinegar could make it worse. It was not very pleasant the first few days but, so far, it has not affected me in that way. I even managed to cut down my tablets to one every other day instead of every day (something one of my doctors asked me to do over a year ago and I couldn't at the time).

I also balance my carbs intake and my healthy fats intake depending on the amount of activity I am doing or stress I am exposed to.

On days at work, I will increase my carbs intake and lower my healthy fats intake, whereas on a day off chilling at home, I will lower my carbs and increase my healthy fats.

Your body will burn carbs first for fuel as it is easier. Burning fat is more complex and require more effort, so this is why carbohydrates are the body's preferred energy source.

I am keeping all this up as it seems to be working for me.

I still have some belly fat I want to get rid of but I'm not rushing it. It will go little by little, in due time - I hope. I just need to fit in workout sessions (the 10% I'm not currently doing enough of).

So, all in all, I am quite happy that I have become gluten intolerant as it has opened my eyes tremendously and has forced me to re-focus my attention and awareness on the foods I need for my body to function at optimal level and protect my health in the process - a varied diet of natural foods.

And, by the way, if you are wondering about what happened to my love of chocolate, it is still very much vibrant- only I replaced the milk chocolate bars for 70% cocoa chocolate. And it makes me happy :-)

My Meditation Practice

I had been wanting to try meditating for a long time. I tried different apps and audio recordings. Most would focus on quietening your mind.

The more I was trying to quieten my mind, the more random thoughts I was having and the more frustrated I was getting. So, after quite a few attempts, I gave up.

In February 2019, I came across a video from The Betty Rocker (I'm a big fan) through my emails where Bree (founder of The Betty Rocker) was interviewing Emily Fletcher, a meditation teacher who designed her own meditation method.

I listened, completely entranced and hanging to her every word. At the end of the interview, she demonstrated her meditation method and I followed along. At the end of it, there is just no words to describe what I felt. A bit like a heavy load that had lifted off my shoulders and my spirit, even if ever so slightly. But it made all the difference for me.

I decided to search on Youtube for other Emily Fletcher videos - her seminar at Google is just so inspiring - and pre-ordered her book "Stress Less, Accomplish More". That really resonated with me.

To me, the goal was to accomplish more in my personal life, as I felt that my work life was taking over the rest of my time and all my energy. I wanted to be able to do more in my free time, enjoying it more and not let the stress of work eat me alive.

In her book, Emily guides you through a basic version of her meditation method, called Ziva. I religiously did it for a few weeks, then got curious and visited her website to find out more about the ZivaOnline class. I discovered that Emily has taught many high-performance individuals, such as CEOs, performers and, last but not least, the great Oprah Winfrey. Well, I don't know about you, but if it's good enough for Oprah, it's good enough for me!

The book version got me hooked to the method but I deeply felt I needed to find out more so I took the plunge - I signed up for Ziva Online.

It is not cheap, I grant you, but payment plans are available - which was the only way for me to ever get access to such a class. I have been paying my class for the last 6 months.

The class is actually 15 days long, where Emily guides you gently through the method, so that, little by little, it becomes a part of you.

For the last 6 months, 20 minutes twice a day, I have been meditating the Ziva way. I have learnt that, during meditation, thoughts are not the enemy, but stress coming out of your body to give it deep rest.

The meditation practice has given me more flow, even if I still do get stressed on occasions, I am managing it better on the moment - I will still swear though!
I have learnt to let it out of my body and my mind so that it doesn't damage me.

My mantra - personally chosen mind vehicle through the meditation - helps me guide my meditation session to the good flow I need at that particular moment, relaxing my body completely - it sometimes feels like I am falling into a deep sleep and, on occasions, especially at the beginning, I did fall off my sofa, which was quite funny - to my son at least!

My meditation practice is so part of me now that if I miss only one session, I get terrible headaches - which is not good for me as I am prone to migraines, so headaches are never good news. This is another incentive to keep my practice regular.

My meditation practice is part of my routine, an integral part of my life and a genuine need for me to feel at peace, accepting and efficient.

My meditation practice is non-negotiable and my son quickly realised that as, I think, he did notice at some point that it made me more relaxed, more receptive and that I was shouting at him less - which, I'm sure he greatly appreciated.

As a single mum with a teenage boy, I found it hard dealing with rebellious, moody and challenging behaviour - talking back and ordering me as if I were his slave - and, I'm not ashamed to say, that I lost patience a lot more than once, shouting and sometimes even giving him the silent treatment.

He was barely talking to me at one point, and that deeply hurt me. I felt so alone. I felt I was losing him.

Maybe a month after I started my meditation practice, I realised that I was more patient, more diplomatic in my way of dealing with him and he started talking to me - about his day, the video games he was playing, the music he was listening to and, little by little, we started communicating and having a more open relationship.

My meditation practice made me a cooler mum (or at least not such the hag I used to be in my son's eyes!)

My meditation practice saved my relationship with my son, saved my sanity, and made me stop and think about my life choices. It has opened my mind to my true capabilities and genuine possibilities life can offer.

I can even go back to meditation apps and manage to somewhat clear my mind to give my mind deep rest for a few minutes. It is all about where you decide to place your focus.

My meditation practice has done - and still does - so much for me, and I'd be damned if I'd stopped it any time soon.

For me, it is a life commitment, a gift you give yourself every day to be happy and at peace.

Top 10 Most Important Things To Me

Why would you want to make a Top 10 list of what is most important to you? How can it serve you? How to go about it? This today's challenge.

Making a list is the oldest trick in the book to keep you on target, and not forgetting.

Think shopping lists, to make sure you buy everything you need on your next visit to the supermarket. Every time I either didn't prepare a list, or look at my list (like this morning), you can be 100% sure I'll forget to get something I need (this morning, it was my eggs for breakfast next week!)

In this instance, making a list of your Top 10 (or any other number you choose) of anything, reminds you of your priorities, the way you lead your life, what is close to your heart, what helps you the most.

After all, in this life, with all its few ups and many downs, all the challenges we face on a daily basis, we often get lost and forget values or little things we live by, and we all need a little help remembering.

No matter how shitty my day is at work, how much I run around like a headless chicken, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed, this Top 10 list reminds me that this is not it, that there are things so much more important, essential and valuable to life than the stress of having to sort out someone else's cock-ups and having a dozen things to do at the same time on a daily basis.

I know that focusing on these precious things switches me off from the stress and aftermath zombie-like state when I get home. This list keeps reminding me over and over again that this madness is not my life, it does not define it; it is only a life situation.

What defines my life is all the things that matter the most to me (this list), for which I am always ever so grateful, and thinking this way, seeing things this way is a total shift of consciousness. But it has changed my life - literally - and contributes every single day to my happiness and inner peace.

Now how did I go about creating this list? The answer is brainstorming. I thought and focused on the question and let the ideas flow naturally, writing them down in my notebook. You will find that the more ideas you think about, the more will come up - which is a great help to know yourself.

You will also notice that, very often, the first ideas you came up with will be in your Top 10 because they came spontaneously, as a reflex, coming straight from the heart, without hesitation. It certainly was the case for me.

Then, from your list, you go through all your ideas and let your heart/instinct speak for itself; you will automatically prioritise these ideas - which are more important and which are secondary.

Finally, you can put your 10 remaining ideas in order of importance.

This technique will work from any Top (10) list you wish to devise.

You can write your final list nicely - designing a poster, collage, a card, any format you like - and display it somewhere in your home or keep in your bag so that, anywhere you are, you can remind yourself of what makes your life so special and precious.

This is my Top 10 List:

1. my loved ones
2. my health
3. safety
4. learning and personal development
5. my art supplies and creativity
6. truth and honesty
7. kindness
8. honour
9. food
10. my meditation practice

And here is my Top 10 list poster:

With much love x

Self-love - Harder than love

Why is it so difficult to love yourself and so easy to love others?

Always, we are the ones coming down like a ton of bricks on ourselves. You know, the dreaded inner critic working 24/7.

Why did I do this? That was so stupid! When will I ever learn? I make the same mistakes over and over again. I’m not good enough. I’ll never succeed. I can’t do that. They will laugh at me if I dress like that. I don’t fit in so there’s obviously something wrong with me. I’m unloveable. I’m too skinny. I’m too fat. My hair is too frizzy. I’m not tall enough. I look horrible. I am ugly. I hate myself on photos. My voice sounds weird. I can’t sing. I can’t dance. I am not smart enough. I am a weirdo. I have to do what they say, not what I want, or they’ll never like me. What was I thinking? My parents have always told me time and time again that I am aiming too high... 

And so on and so forth.

We diminish ourselves on a daily basis, over and over, either consciously or unconsciously. It is like we have been conditioned to beat ourselves up and see ourselves as these small and insignificant creatures.

We keep comparing ourselves to others and modern media only adds to the injury - exposing us constantly to “perfection” by showing off beautiful, young, tall and thin models, emphasising the fact that you look nothing like them (and, by the way, very often they look nothing like their photos either thanks to the magic of removing flaws and enhancing features with Photoshop and other image altering softwares). And, of course, the media is your best friend - it’s showing you the way how to get this perfect. Buy this face cream, go on this diet, do that workout routine, buy these shoes, dress, handbag, accessories, etc.

So, in your desperation of being much less than perfect, less than these models and celebrities, your self-esteem goes down deeper than the roots of a 1000-year old tree. And despite buying the creams, dresses, shoes, going on that diet (and starving yourself), doing the latest fashionable workout routine that promised you to get rid of your belly fat in 10 days, your body is still the shape of a muffin, your acne spots and rosacea are still there, and that dress is so tight you can't breathe. How on earth are you supposed to love yourself? You feel like a failure, for sure.

But the put-down attitude does not only come from what society deems beautiful, successful and acceptable, it can also come, like butter on the toast, from people around you, starting from a young age. The "what makes you think you can do that?" from your parents, the "you're not cool because you're not wearing the latest Levi's jeans" from your schoolmates, the "you burnt the roast again, you're a rubbish cook" from your other half, the "you can't make me do that, you're a horrible mum" from your kids when you ask them (nicely) to help out - all these can make you feel inadequate, not good enough or just not enough. And these comments come from your loved ones, people who are supposed to love you and accept you for who you are but, in their eyes, who you are does not measure up to THEIR expectations. And that's it, we get used to the criticism, believe it and down goes the spiraling into worthlessness. Don't get me wrong, we've all made comments at one point or another in our lives to loved ones similar to these. They are not meant to be demeaning, very often they are meant as advice or even an attempt to protect you or challenge you to better yourself, but when you're the receiver, they DO hurt and, in a way, define us and the way we see ourselves. So really, with that in mind, it's quite a challenge to love ourselves the way we really are.

And there comes in "loving others".  Now that is so easy to do - in comparison.

Do you remember when you were a teenager and you used to fall in love every 10 minutes?

When we have a look at how we love others, the first things that come to mind are admiration, beauty (attraction), even protection, but a lot of the time, we end up loving someone different from us, even if it starts with common interests. After all, no two people are the same. It is as if we are aspiring to become this person, who then turns into a role model for us. Oftentimes you hear that when you are in love, you lose yourself. 

Loving someone else is admiring their qualities, truly loving someone is also accepting them just the way they are, faults and all, and being supportive of who they truly are and aspire to. Loving someone is fully respecting them.

Why can’t we just do the same for ourselves?

There is a fine line between loving yourself and being a full-blown narcissist, self-centred and oblivious of others. Genuine narcissists will love themselves without question or a second thought. But not loving yourself, and therefore rejecting yourself in a way, for fear of being narcissistic, to me, is the proof that you have humility (probably too much but that can be worked on), that you do value others as you don’t think yourself above them; if that’s the case for you, well, there is absolutely no chance of you becoming a narcissist! You’re way too much of a decent human being for that!

Loving yourself is an essential ingredient to feeling at peace, to your happiness and relationships with others.

Loving yourself is recognising with pure honesty your strengths in order to fulfill your full potential, your weaknesses/limitations so you can work on them, your influence and impact on other people’s lives. 

Loving yourself is not just for yourself and your well-being, it is also for others. One of my favourite quotes, which illustrates this idea perfectly, is from the amazing Maya Angelou:

BE A RAINBOW IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SKY

Loving yourself is your birthright, it is the respect you fully deserve.

When you love yourself, you don’t put yourself at risk unnecessarily (substance abuse, violent relationships...), you have the strength to say NO and walk away from situations that are a direct assault to your values and who you truly are, you eat and drink healthy because you have that much respect for yourself, your body and well-being.

All these examples are manifestations of loving yourself. So, as you can see, it is not about boasting that you’re the best, the most beautiful, the smartest or the only one worthy on this planet. It is about recognising that you have your part to play and that you have value.

You are not NOTHING - you matter and deserve the love you so willingly give others.

Much love to you x