Journaling Prompt

 

GOING DEEPER 

Do you usually let yourself influenced easily by other people?

If so is that everyone or certain people that tend to influence you? If certain people, who are they to you?

Do you wish you could just have the courage to stand by your own opinions and not be wavered unless for a good reason? Why?

By changing your mind to suit other people’s opinions, what do you wish to accomplish? How has it been working for you so far?

What does it say about you? Are you happy with that?

What can you do to change this?

What are you afraid of when you don’t voice your opinions and change your mind to conform with other people’s views?

What boundaries do you need to put in place for your opinions to be respected?

What do you need to let go of?

What difference would it make to your life and how you see yourself to feel your true voice is heard and your true self is seen?

What is your true voice like?

What is your true self like?

What can you do this coming month to move forward this?

Insight Timer App Review

Today, I'd like to do my first review on this blog and I have chosen to talk about my favourite meditation/music app which I have been using for over a year now.
As you may know from a previous article, meditation is an integral part of my daily life and the Insight Timer app, I have found, has been supporting my needs very well.

While my meditation practice has a specific structure, I find that I rarely use the app for actual meditations instead of my established Ziva practice, but more for the vast array of relaxing music available on this app. Seriously, it is a gold mine! I will play longer pieces for my evening wind down or even during the day when I feel anxious, stressed or overwhelmed. I also like to listen to calm music when I read as, I have come to realise, it helps me relax while I'm reading and helps me focus more. The "Evening Fire" instrumental song by Loula Taylor is my favourite go-to background music for my Ziva meditation; it is exactly 20 minutes, just like my meditation session, which makes it perfect for me to gently time my session. The music is also not distracting which is very important.

But let's have a look at this wondrous app that is now a full part of my well-being kit.

The app is available both on Google Play and Apple App Store. It is free to download and use, but a subscription is also available (monthly, yearly) to be able to access content offline and have availability of courses (they are not accessible if you are on a free account). You can start with a free trial period before you decide to subscribe, if you want access to every option available on the app. I did the trial, cancelled it before the end of the trial period and then received a half price offer on the annual subscription (at that time, annual was the only option offered for Premium). This is how I am currently on a Premium account. It will expire in August this year and, unless I get another good offer like this one, there is a fair chance that I will stay on the free account, just because there is still so much you can access.
The free account gives you access to all the meditations and music so, in my books, that's fantastic to start with. There are thousands of teachers, musicians and meditations available. You can search by type, length, teacher, style, keywords, which makes the search very efficient in quickly finding what you're looking for.

Here are a few screenshots of my Insight Timer to give you an idea of how it's organised:

As you can see, there is a Parents category with music, talks and meditations for children and teenagers. A really invaluable resource, especially in these uncertain times.

As I said, the search lets you search in different ways. Here are the default search options on the Search page:

Here are some of my personal favourites and recently played (there are MANY more but that would take an awful lot of photos for you to look at!):

Some of my faves teachers I follow, so far (there are thousands I haven't discovered yet!) -

Here is the Courses page (only available with Premium accounts):

And here is a look at the Account page and options:

As you can see, this app is very comprehensive and the materials availability quite diverse.

Since I have discovered Jacqui Prydie a few months ago, I have delved into the world of Affirmations and have been listening to one of her Affirmations meditations every night when I go to bed. You can see a few titles on my Recently Played screens.

What I love the most about Insight Timer, apart from the fact that you have gigantic access even with the free account, which is definitely not the case for other meditation apps, is the variety of styles that you get. Often, meditation apps focus on a particular style of meditation, exploring different aspects and with different courses, like the Headspace app, for instance, which was the first meditation app I actually used.
But Insight Timer enables you to discover and explore a multitude of meditation aspects, from sound therapy, to mindfulness, gratitude, affirmations, reprogramming, manifestation and mantras, to name but a few. There are also some very good talks about a variety of wellness and social subjects. I particularly enjoyed Justin Michael Williams "Forgiving Yourself", which is a big thing for me I need to work on, and "The Revolution Starts Inside" which I found very inspiring and beautiful.

I invite you to give this app a try, even if it's just staying on the free account.
You have truly nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Where Have Our Manners Gone?

Do you remember the good old days when men were holding doors and chairs for ladies, people were queuing and driving like civilised people, and Please and Thank You were automatic?

I do - my parents were pretty strict about politeness and manners, and I'm glad they were because, to me, they are a natural thing. They are a mark of respect to others, fairness and, well simple logic. Who would want to be treated disrespectfully and unfairly? No one that I know of.

However, these days, manners seem to be mainly a thing of the past, a rare thing. Kids push you to get on the bus before you, even if you've been waiting for over half an hour and they just turned up 20 seconds ago, people eating your lunch you left in the fridge at work for later... Only a couple of examples of bad manners that I have experienced numerous times. And when I say "kids", really, I mean every one from kids, to adults and pensioners.
People can be so rude nowadays and it seems from people's reactions that it's normal.

Lack of manners is one of my pet peeves. I absolutely HATE it (yes, "hate" and it is not too strong). My blood pressure goes up the roof straight away. I cannot control the impulse, but I do manage, after a few seconds, to gradually let it go - it takes a good while though! Another episode of unnecessary stress caused by others into our lives.
People shouting across the bus to have a chat - what the f**k?! Can't one of them move so they can sit together? Don't they notice that people don't need, neither do they want, to hear their conversation? I have my sound blocking headphones on listening to my music or audiobook full blast, yet I can still hear EVERY single thing they say!! Are they doing it on purpose? I mean, is it just me it bothers or what?
This is a flagrant demonstration of a total lack of respect for other people's private space, comfort and peace.

The world we live in is all about fast pace. Whatever you do, you got to be quick to move on to the next thing. Mobile devices are isolating people in their own little world, totally oblivious and even disregarding other people's world, values and boundaries. Social media connect people in such an impersonal way that you will find many "befriending" people they barely know, sharing every private detail of their lives. The rage of selfies, posting and sharing about your life seems to bring people's focus on themselves - blatantly ignoring whatever and whoever is not part of their world, alienating themselves from the outside world. How many Likes did my post or photo get? Surely, there should be more essential things to life than this.
No wonder people are losing their manners to others. We have lost the direct connection to others, whether we know them or not, and with that the basic understanding and respect that we should have for all human beings.

Let us not forget, we are all, after all, part of the same family, the same species, the same planet, we all share the same air we breathe, we all feel the same emotions when we win and when we lose. Manners, and therefore respect, are the manifestation of the values we share and our common belonging. By disrespecting others, we disrespect ourselves. Not one human being is above the others, we all get to realise that and learn it the hard way in some way or another at some point in our lives.

I remember one of my dad's school books that I still have - dated from the 1930s - teaching morality and manners, how to behave and treat others with the respect they deserve - that we all deserve.
Surely this should come back into the schools' curriculum for a new generation to rediscover and re-instill into the world the art of politeness, manners and respect. At the end of the day, manners don't cost anything and don't make you look weak or less than.

Please, that would be nice. For my blood pressure's sake and the sake of humanity! Thank you...

Sunday Journaling Prompt #6

Happy Sunday all.

I hope that last week’s prompt helped you find some kind of direction.

This Sunday’s prompt will also be deep, although not focusing on what you need into your life, but what you bring into others’:

We all have an impact on others around us, and while our inner critic is always quick to point out how useless and insignificant we are, I just thought that, this Sunday, we could shut it up and show it the gifts we bring others to help them shine their light.

Shine on...

Top 10 Most Important Things To Me

Why would you want to make a Top 10 list of what is most important to you? How can it serve you? How to go about it? This today's challenge.

Making a list is the oldest trick in the book to keep you on target, and not forgetting.

Think shopping lists, to make sure you buy everything you need on your next visit to the supermarket. Every time I either didn't prepare a list, or look at my list (like this morning), you can be 100% sure I'll forget to get something I need (this morning, it was my eggs for breakfast next week!)

In this instance, making a list of your Top 10 (or any other number you choose) of anything, reminds you of your priorities, the way you lead your life, what is close to your heart, what helps you the most.

After all, in this life, with all its few ups and many downs, all the challenges we face on a daily basis, we often get lost and forget values or little things we live by, and we all need a little help remembering.

No matter how shitty my day is at work, how much I run around like a headless chicken, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed, this Top 10 list reminds me that this is not it, that there are things so much more important, essential and valuable to life than the stress of having to sort out someone else's cock-ups and having a dozen things to do at the same time on a daily basis.

I know that focusing on these precious things switches me off from the stress and aftermath zombie-like state when I get home. This list keeps reminding me over and over again that this madness is not my life, it does not define it; it is only a life situation.

What defines my life is all the things that matter the most to me (this list), for which I am always ever so grateful, and thinking this way, seeing things this way is a total shift of consciousness. But it has changed my life - literally - and contributes every single day to my happiness and inner peace.

Now how did I go about creating this list? The answer is brainstorming. I thought and focused on the question and let the ideas flow naturally, writing them down in my notebook. You will find that the more ideas you think about, the more will come up - which is a great help to know yourself.

You will also notice that, very often, the first ideas you came up with will be in your Top 10 because they came spontaneously, as a reflex, coming straight from the heart, without hesitation. It certainly was the case for me.

Then, from your list, you go through all your ideas and let your heart/instinct speak for itself; you will automatically prioritise these ideas - which are more important and which are secondary.

Finally, you can put your 10 remaining ideas in order of importance.

This technique will work from any Top (10) list you wish to devise.

You can write your final list nicely - designing a poster, collage, a card, any format you like - and display it somewhere in your home or keep in your bag so that, anywhere you are, you can remind yourself of what makes your life so special and precious.

This is my Top 10 List:

1. my loved ones
2. my health
3. safety
4. learning and personal development
5. my art supplies and creativity
6. truth and honesty
7. kindness
8. honour
9. food
10. my meditation practice

And here is my Top 10 list poster:

With much love x

Self-love - Harder than love

Why is it so difficult to love yourself and so easy to love others?

Always, we are the ones coming down like a ton of bricks on ourselves. You know, the dreaded inner critic working 24/7.

Why did I do this? That was so stupid! When will I ever learn? I make the same mistakes over and over again. I’m not good enough. I’ll never succeed. I can’t do that. They will laugh at me if I dress like that. I don’t fit in so there’s obviously something wrong with me. I’m unloveable. I’m too skinny. I’m too fat. My hair is too frizzy. I’m not tall enough. I look horrible. I am ugly. I hate myself on photos. My voice sounds weird. I can’t sing. I can’t dance. I am not smart enough. I am a weirdo. I have to do what they say, not what I want, or they’ll never like me. What was I thinking? My parents have always told me time and time again that I am aiming too high... 

And so on and so forth.

We diminish ourselves on a daily basis, over and over, either consciously or unconsciously. It is like we have been conditioned to beat ourselves up and see ourselves as these small and insignificant creatures.

We keep comparing ourselves to others and modern media only adds to the injury - exposing us constantly to “perfection” by showing off beautiful, young, tall and thin models, emphasising the fact that you look nothing like them (and, by the way, very often they look nothing like their photos either thanks to the magic of removing flaws and enhancing features with Photoshop and other image altering softwares). And, of course, the media is your best friend - it’s showing you the way how to get this perfect. Buy this face cream, go on this diet, do that workout routine, buy these shoes, dress, handbag, accessories, etc.

So, in your desperation of being much less than perfect, less than these models and celebrities, your self-esteem goes down deeper than the roots of a 1000-year old tree. And despite buying the creams, dresses, shoes, going on that diet (and starving yourself), doing the latest fashionable workout routine that promised you to get rid of your belly fat in 10 days, your body is still the shape of a muffin, your acne spots and rosacea are still there, and that dress is so tight you can't breathe. How on earth are you supposed to love yourself? You feel like a failure, for sure.

But the put-down attitude does not only come from what society deems beautiful, successful and acceptable, it can also come, like butter on the toast, from people around you, starting from a young age. The "what makes you think you can do that?" from your parents, the "you're not cool because you're not wearing the latest Levi's jeans" from your schoolmates, the "you burnt the roast again, you're a rubbish cook" from your other half, the "you can't make me do that, you're a horrible mum" from your kids when you ask them (nicely) to help out - all these can make you feel inadequate, not good enough or just not enough. And these comments come from your loved ones, people who are supposed to love you and accept you for who you are but, in their eyes, who you are does not measure up to THEIR expectations. And that's it, we get used to the criticism, believe it and down goes the spiraling into worthlessness. Don't get me wrong, we've all made comments at one point or another in our lives to loved ones similar to these. They are not meant to be demeaning, very often they are meant as advice or even an attempt to protect you or challenge you to better yourself, but when you're the receiver, they DO hurt and, in a way, define us and the way we see ourselves. So really, with that in mind, it's quite a challenge to love ourselves the way we really are.

And there comes in "loving others".  Now that is so easy to do - in comparison.

Do you remember when you were a teenager and you used to fall in love every 10 minutes?

When we have a look at how we love others, the first things that come to mind are admiration, beauty (attraction), even protection, but a lot of the time, we end up loving someone different from us, even if it starts with common interests. After all, no two people are the same. It is as if we are aspiring to become this person, who then turns into a role model for us. Oftentimes you hear that when you are in love, you lose yourself. 

Loving someone else is admiring their qualities, truly loving someone is also accepting them just the way they are, faults and all, and being supportive of who they truly are and aspire to. Loving someone is fully respecting them.

Why can’t we just do the same for ourselves?

There is a fine line between loving yourself and being a full-blown narcissist, self-centred and oblivious of others. Genuine narcissists will love themselves without question or a second thought. But not loving yourself, and therefore rejecting yourself in a way, for fear of being narcissistic, to me, is the proof that you have humility (probably too much but that can be worked on), that you do value others as you don’t think yourself above them; if that’s the case for you, well, there is absolutely no chance of you becoming a narcissist! You’re way too much of a decent human being for that!

Loving yourself is an essential ingredient to feeling at peace, to your happiness and relationships with others.

Loving yourself is recognising with pure honesty your strengths in order to fulfill your full potential, your weaknesses/limitations so you can work on them, your influence and impact on other people’s lives. 

Loving yourself is not just for yourself and your well-being, it is also for others. One of my favourite quotes, which illustrates this idea perfectly, is from the amazing Maya Angelou:

BE A RAINBOW IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SKY

Loving yourself is your birthright, it is the respect you fully deserve.

When you love yourself, you don’t put yourself at risk unnecessarily (substance abuse, violent relationships...), you have the strength to say NO and walk away from situations that are a direct assault to your values and who you truly are, you eat and drink healthy because you have that much respect for yourself, your body and well-being.

All these examples are manifestations of loving yourself. So, as you can see, it is not about boasting that you’re the best, the most beautiful, the smartest or the only one worthy on this planet. It is about recognising that you have your part to play and that you have value.

You are not NOTHING - you matter and deserve the love you so willingly give others.

Much love to you x