Sunday Journaling Prompt #15

Affirmations

When affirming something, you are emphatically stating that it is so.
It is with this attitude in mind that affirmations are built and stated.

Affirmations are a practice that was firmly established in the early 20th century by French psychologist and pharmacist Emile Coue, even though the method can be traced back as early as ancient eastern religions.
The great advances in medical research now enable to demonstrate and support the effectiveness of practising affirmations, especially in modern neuroscience.

The aim of affirmations is to establish positive thinking and empowerment in the individual. They are presented as statements in the present tense. Using this tense enables you to ground in the now.

Another particularity of affirmations is that they contain either (or several) of these words - I, me, my.
The effect of this is to help the “affirmer” to focus on him/her to empower him/herself and move into a state of positivity and confidence.

Examples of affirmations are: “I am worthy of love”, “the universe has my back”, “others looks up to me instinctively for wisdom and support”...
The empowerment target theme can be very varied, depending on your initial intent - self-esteem, confidence, relationships, success, overcoming fears and obstacles, health...

When you start practising affirmations, they can sound a bit cheesy to you, but you just need to trust the process. In time, you will feel the transformation and find that the initial discomfort and embarrassment were well worth it.

While the main practice model consists of stating the affirmation (either outloud or to yourself) and repeating it, listening to affirmations can also be effective. They still access your subconscious who will integrate them in your mind.
The more you state the affirmation, the more you get used to it and believe it and, as you believe it, it becomes part of your thinking patterns.

I have been listening to various affirmations meditations from Jacqui Prydie on the Insight Timer app, on a daily basis just before bedtime, and have found them not only very relaxing but also beneficial, especially in these uncertain times.
I have decided to be more active in my Affirmations practice and concentrate on one affirmation to focus on per week. So, from Wednesday 3rd June, I will be posting one affirmation per week on the blog, Facebook and Instagram for you to join the adventure.

Keep an eye out for Affirmation Wednesdays...

Sunday Journaling Prompt #14

Yes, the Sunday Journaling Prompts are back!
Now more than ever is journaling essential to our mental health and general well-being. So, every Sunday, a prompt will be posted on the blog, Facebook and Instagram for you to reflect on during the coming week.

A journaling prompt can be revisited many times, not just single-use, as we change daily.

So without further chatting from me, straight to the meat of things, I present you this Sunday's Journaling Prompt:

My Life On Lockdown - So Far

This crisis the world is experiencing at the moment is beyond unusual, unique and frightening. As the death toll keeps rising daily, most of us are locked away, at home, hopefully safe and sound.

While we are all so grateful to our essential workers around the world for being out there and keep our world turning around for us all, we can't help but think and fear for their safety. Some of these everyday heroes may even be part of your family or dear friends, which makes the agony even so much more personal and close to home.

When this all began here in the UK, my first experience with it was while doing my regular weekly food shop on a Saturday morning, to realise that, at 9 am, there was barely anything left in the shop! No canned food, no frozen food, no pasta, no rice, no bread, no gluten free stuff apart from lasagna sheets, no toilet paper. And I thought to myself, "what a bunch of selfish and irresponsible idiots!" Photos in the media of elderly people facing empty shelves literally broke my heart. This panic buying, I later realised, is well beyond being utterly selfish (even though I still think it is) - it is also for some people a coping mechanism in times of crisis. Loss of control will bring a hyperaction in areas of your life you CAN actually control, to counterbalance the equation, leading to this type of compulsive behaviour.

A week after this happened, I started working from home for a couple of weeks, which I was quite lucky to be able to do, as my buses were being reduced to one per hour. During this time, I avoided going outside, only for cash and food shop. I did go one morning to my local park for a short run, which felt great, but learning that you spread more germs in the air that way really put me off, especially when there were people walking their dogs - which they have to do. It didn't seem fair on them.

I was then off on holiday for a week, and my days followed pretty much the same pattern. After my holiday, I was put on the furlough scheme, which I was quite grateful for, because, in these circumstances, my head just wasn't with phoning customers to get sales or sorting out purchase invoices. So furlough for me was a complete relief.

I am a natural indoors person and have many hobbies and interests that are indoor-orientated so, I have to admit, staying home does not bother me; it gives me the chance to do what I usually struggle to find time to do on normal weeks. I genuinely feel for outdoorsy people, being stuck at home, feeling trapped, almost claustrophobic. I know many people like this and, having spoken to some, all they want is go back to work, even if it means exposing themselves to risk, so they can be out of their house.

This is when mental health plays an essential part. Their habitual mental health preserving techniques are all mostly based on outdoors so it is a dangerous pitfall, and I am not surprised to hear people falling into depression on top of being scared about the situation of our world and people's health.

As I have plenty to do to entertain myself, I felt for quite a few weeks that this crisis hadn't affected me too much in that respect. I have Netflix, Amazon Video and Now TV, so plenty to watch (even though, apart from following my regular shows and binge-watching season 3 and new season 4 of The Last Kingdom, I haven't really watched TV that much). I started de-cluttering my living room - still a long way to go -, finished an online course I was studying, started a new one, journalled A LOT to get it all out of my system rather than bottling it all in, homeschooling my teenage son on things I have no clue about, reading, exercising regularly as part of my morning routine, and started SoulCollage. So I definitely haven't been bored for the last 5 weeks of furlough.

But, between the very real threat to our lives, the conflicting information from the media and our leaders' ways of handling the situation, it has brought to me feelings of fear, worry, uncertainty, anxiety, sadness and sometimes anger. I have had in the last few weeks more nightmares that I ever had in my whole adult life and I know that this is because of it all. Our worlds have been turned upside down and, while you would hope that when this is all over we would build societies and a world much better, kinder, compassionate, tolerant and fairer than we've considered "normal" all these past decades, you can't help but wonder when and how, and what in the meantime? The newly-established routines that now support me, will I be able to maintain them when I go back to work and the business of life from before? These are big questions that we currently find very hard, almost impossible to answer. An additional source of stress and worry.

I have managed to somewhat preserve my mental health by keeping busy, doing things I thoroughly enjoy, some less as they are necessary, journalling a lot (if you are new to journaling as I was, despite numerous attempts in the past, I HIGHLY recommend Jennibellie's free class "7 Day Journaling Journey"), resting when I needed to and keeping some kind of routines. I have also used BlessingManifesting's prompts and affirmation graphics on Instagram and Patreon, as well as her self-care and mental health worksheets. I have not necessarily used them the way they're meant to, but just reading the prompts and affirmations and thinking about them was often enough to support me in my mental health journey through these scary and unstable times. Meditation and relaxing music from the Insight Timer app have also helped me find my centre and my peace, as well as Wim Hof Method breathing exercises.

Having my son with me and my cats is definitely my basic support system as I truly don't know how I would have handled all this on my own if my son had been on lockdown at his dad's. That would have more than likely been a very different story.

I've had plenty of good days, for which I am ever so grateful and feel blessed, some OK-days when I felt I didn't accomplish much, and also a few bad days. Yesterday was from the latter category. Probably one of the worst I've had since it all started. I did my morning routine as usual, watched a couple of Youtube videos, had lunch then, BAM! - massive headache. I battled through the early afternoon but, to be honest, it seems very foggy to me. As I am prone to debilitating migraines, I decided to listen to my body and went to bed with a book and relaxing music. I just couldn't focus on the words, I couldn't rest and in the end I just decided to have a nap at about 4 pm. Woke up at about 7.30 pm, all groggy, feeling drained and past my dinner time for optimum digestion, and I knew it - feeling extremely frustrated and defeated. My evening routine was out of the window and that made me feel even worse. Internal ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) crawling around my brain. I went to sleep 2 hours later and woke up twice in the night with nightmares, in a state of fright and panic. Not a good night at all.

Today, I still got up normal time with my alarm and feel a little bit better but still sensitive. I will have an easy day and if that means that the dishes and the laundry will stay exactly where they are all day, and that lunch and dinner will solely consist of cheese and ham toasties, nuts and fruits, then so be it.

Now more than ever, it is essential to listen to your body and not fall into the guilt-trip if you had a "lazy" day. When I plunge into this guilt-trip with everything I've got, I always remind myself that the natural state of our bodies is to move AND recuperate, and the natural state of our mind is rest, peace, bliss. Your "lazy" days are actually your "recharge your batteries" days and are vital to your well-being, both physically and mentally.

Take care of yourselves, nurture yourself to maintain a healthy mental and physical health, and stay safe. 

Much love to you all x

Routines

Routine (Oxford Dictionary) - a sequence of actions regularly followed.
Synonyms - procedure, practice, pattern, regime...

Routine is based on the systematic repetition, day after day, of specified tasks. By having a set routine, you have created a set of habits that are inherent to your life.

In general language, we tend to use the word "routine" with some detachment, ie. "it's OK, it's just a routine check" or in a pejorative way, where routine means boredom, doing the same thing, over and over again - caught in the loop of Groundhog Day.

While all these meanings of the word are very valid,  the rapid growth of self-care as a practice and an essential part of your well-being and productivity has encouraged us to view the word routine in a more positive light.

Indeed, by creating a routine, you are creating a set of positive habits that will enhance your life, your efficiency, your happiness and, most likely, that of others around you.
Creating a routine is also a great way to get rid of habits that are detrimental to these aspects of your life. You are replacing negative with positive.

Having routines in your life has scientifically been proven by many medical research projects to be beneficial to your overall health. They create stability to your life, preventing stress and overwhelm in certain aspects of your life, as well as a sense of safety; changing or creating habits and routines give you a sense of control. You can actually have influence over things you can truly control, which gives a feeling of achievement, satisfaction and order.

I'm sure we've all been there - waking up late in the morning for work, rushing through the shower, skipping breakfast... Pretty obvious you will get stressed as I'm pretty sure very few of us have a routine they feel secure and confident to follow like a breeze when you pressed the Snooze button too many times.
By creating stress this way, a state of panic, the fight or flight reaction kicks in immediately in your whole body, creating a weakening of your physical and mental abilities, as well as depleting your immune system. When you don't have a routine, you just juggle with everything you have to do and try to wing it. I can't really think of many other things more stressful than this.

The typical routines are morning routine and evening routine, but you can create a routine for pretty much anything - the way you prepare your food, the way you start and finish work, at lunchtime, in your creative process (whether you are a professional or hobbyist), when walking the dog - and you can even have routines for specific periods of the year, like Christmas (in this type of cases, you might also call them traditions), during school holidays when you have the kids home with you all day...

I have a few sets of routines - which, I guess, I could call sub-routines - that are part of other routines. I know, it sounds complicated but it really isn't. I'll give you an example.
I have a skincare routine and a hygiene routine that are both part of my morning and evening routines, with slight alterations whether I'm doing these in the morning or in the evening. For my skincare routine, in the morning, I start with washing my face, and if it's in the evening, I will wash it twice as I'll need one round to remove my make-up and another to actually wash my face. Similarly for my skincare products, I have a selection that I use both morning and evening - I keep these in the middle of my shelf, in the order I will apply them - while my morning products are kept on the far right side of my shelf and my evening products are kept on the far left of my shelf. It might sound a bit OCD (which I don't believe that I am), but organising in an easy and visual way is the best way to keep a habit or a routine, especially when you're introducing it - it's so easy to give up when things are too complicated. You need to be able to do it almost with your eyes closed.

In the evening, I have a very specific routine to help me wind down and sleep well. I have sleep issues, mostly waking up in the night and not being able to go back to sleep until - very often - half an hour before I'm due to get up. For a long time, I felt extremely depleted and lethargic because of this, as I wasn't getting a restful sleep to bring me enough energy to last all day with a smile and a dance. Again, creating that routine was a struggle - depending also on what I need to do, I don't follow it 100% of the time, but for the most part I do manage to stick to it quite regularly. A few months ago, I came across a blog article/newsletter email from The Betty Rocker (love her, she's AWESOME) where she was explaining the importance of setting an efficient evening routine in order to maximise the quality of your sleep. She showed a screen shot of her mobile phone, where she set up alarms for each activity. I have to say, since I have done this, I haven't really had too much hassle following my routine. I sincerely think that it is the main reason why I have managed to have it ingrained in me. When I skip a step, I really feel it.

Here is a screen shot of the alarms I have set up for my evening routine (and I will explain them in more details below):

Step 1: I'm not eating anything after 7:30pm. This is to ensure that I have finished (or almost finished) digesting by the time I am ready to go to sleep. When you are digesting, your body uses energy, which interrupts sleep quality and the restorative part of sleep. Sometimes, you might get a bad night's sleep only because you had heavy and/or rich foods before going to bed.

Step 2: I'm not drinking anything after 8:30pm to avoid night trips to the toilet - we've all been there, I know! This is also where I have scheduled to do my hygiene and skincare routine, but to be honest, very often, I tend to do it between these 2 steps. It gives me more time for journaling. I have 3 journals on the go - a 1-day-a-page diary, which helps me record briefly what happened in the day, a "proper journal" where I go a lot deeper - I usually write 3/4 pages on average per day - and do a daily doodle, and an affirmations journal, where I chose an affirmation and repeat it throughout the page (it gets into my system when I'm ready to sleep, conditioning you for the next day - more on this soon in an upcoming article on sleep).

Step 3: I read a proper book (not Kindle or other digital) for half an hour. This helps my brain to slow down and my body to wind down. It also makes me happy as I love reading and, especially if I've been at work all day, for me it is my precious me-time. From this moment, I also stop using any screens (mobile, ipad, laptop, TV...) to stop being exposed to blue lights, which are also a great culprit for sleep disruption. So please don't take offence if I don't text or message you back!
I have also recently taken on listening to an audiobook instead of reading. I tend to do this on days I am extremely tired or if I have a headache. It enables me to still have my bedtime story-time while resting my eyes (and arms).

Step 4: meditation for me, especially in the evening, is non-negotiable. It is what de-stresses my brain and my body and keeps me more or less sane. I am a big Ziva meditation fan, but having tried other types of meditative exercises from various methods, I am now mixing it all up, while still following the Ziva sequence. It does take me 25/30 minutes of total quiet both inside and outside. I often play relaxing music on low volume from the Insight Timer app (my favourite) as it enables me to roughly and gently time the end of my meditation, to come out of it slowly. By this time, I'm totally ready for the next step!

Step 5: Lights off, sleep tight!! ZZZ...

This routine might seem very regimented, but it actually flows very nicely to calm you down both physically and mentally throughout the evening.

Having routines does not mean however that you should only do the same thing over and over again. It is also important, as a healthy habit, to try new things (foods, styles of books/movies/TV series/games, hobbies, walking routes, new type of exercise...) to keep your brain alert. Your brain needs variety and new challenges all the time to keep growing and evolving, and new activities are equally important. It also has the merit to fight boredom for those of you who get bored easily. My most recent new thing to try is to learn and use Trello for organising and scheduling my blog/Facebook and Instagram tasks. Another great example of this can be learning a new word and definition a day/week, or learning a new language.
Whatever your interests are, with the wide accessibility to knowledge that we are now so blessed to experience, there will always be something new for you to try.

On a last note, all routines are not created equal and if a particular routine does not work for you, never hesitate to review it and change it - try new things ;-)
And if you are new to creating a routine, start small to make it easy and enjoyable, and keep adding as you go along. Only this way will you be able to maintain it. It might seem like a big undertaking but it is in your health's and well-being's best interest so it is totally worth the initial effort - YOU CAN DO THIS :-)