THE POWER OF ACHIEVING

We have a strong culture of achievement in our society - we are judged and valued against what we can show for our achievements, and success is measured by what job you do, how much money you have in your bank account, what car you drive, what clothes you wear, what skincare and make up brands you use...

This has placed a tremendous amount of pressure on people to keep appearances and give the show of being great successes and achievers.

Students from any levels are put under the pressure of exams to show how “intelligent or dumb” they are. If they want to fit in and guarantee themselves a bright future, they just HAVE to achieve. Desired universities and colleges will only accept students above a certain grade, putting even more pressure on students.

Achievement is an integral part of our society and, while a very worthwhile goal, it is also a stigma and a source of stress for many. The pressure of achieving is sometimes given a bad name.

However, achievement puts you instantly into the mindset of positivity. We’ve all been there - we passed our exams, got our dream job, jumped off an airplane, climbed that mountain... and while the journey to this achievement might have been trying or even painful, once you’re there: WOW, what a feeling!

It is this feeling that I would like to focus on in this article. This feeling that, despite all the obstacles on the way, you made it. You got what you wanted. You’re a winner.

Admiral McRaven beautifully explains how making your bed first thing in the morning gets you into that winning feeling. It is so important to  start your day on a positive note - it keeps you in the mood of achieving. By making your bed (properly) this morning, you succeeded at the very first task of the day. By taking all the tasks you have to do throughout your day one at a time, you can focus more on what you are doing and have a greater chance of completing it successfully, especially if you are on positive vibes.

Indeed, when you are achieving any task, big or small, your brain sends signals to your glands to produce 4 essential hormones to positivity - dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphin (DOSE). These hormones, apart from promoting feelings of happiness, are also key to producing the perfect psychological environment for achieving.  They promote optimism, raise your energy levels, encourage the ability to connect with people by being open, create a higher focus which in turn increases your drive and confidence. I mean, with all these attributes at your disposal, you have no other choice but to automatically achieve, even without trying - well maybe you should try anyway, it can’t hurt!

Achieving has therefore very little to do with willpower or being lazy. It has everything to do with conditioning your mind, from the first moment you wake up, and drive this feeling through the rest of your day. 

Gratitude, in that respect, is totally an integral part of achieving. By recognising and giving thanks for what you already have in your life, you know that you are already a winner and the DOSE hormones will keep flowing throughout your body.

As Admiral McRaven says in his amazing and inspiring speech “the little things matter - if you can’t do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right”. Click HERE to watch an extract of his speech on YouTube. 

The little things are a lot easier to deal with than the big things, but we all know that the big things will always turn up in our lives. By training ourselves to pay attention to the day-to-day tasks and completing these successfully, we are creating a habit of achieving and constantly finding moments of happiness in our lives.

WHAT DO YOU WANT AND HOW DO YOU GET THERE

It's been a long time, I know.
Now that these crazy times put us on a stop (or at least a slow down), I am finally back on the blog.

Self- care is now, more than ever, essential to all of us, and it can take many forms - watching TV, DIY, gardening, creating, reading, playing music, connecting, cleaning...

I was off on holiday last week (at home, like most of us) and I started the free/pay as you want online class 7 Day Journaling Journey by Jennibellie (she was one of the first mixed media artists I followed and started creating from her good teachings). Journaling is something I had always wanted to do on a regular basis and I did try many times (Sunday journaling prompts) but couldn't get to stick to it. This class is making journaling more organised and focused, which is great to get you started and give you some confidence, and a lot easier to stick to as you dip in to the different techniques and journaling styles as you feel. Click HERE to go on Jennibellie's website and enroll in the class.

So from starting this practice, I remembered that I have had some of Melody Ross's online classes for quite a while and decided to pick up from where I last left off on the class The Walk. Finding what I want more of and less of in my life made me think about goals.

We all have goals, big and small, and they are all important. Now that most of us are stuck at home for a few good weeks, yes, it is nice to watch TV and chill, but it is also the perfect time to think about what you want out of life, how you want to feel. Finding goals are not always the easy part but surely a lot easier than planning how you are going to achieve that goal.
I have designed a mind map on the iMindMap Kids app (it's free and easy to use) to help you consider all aspects of your goals before you dive in as, with anything, complete awareness of the now and having all the facts at your disposal are essential before you can move forward. Otherwise, you'll just barge in blindly into situations like a bull in a china shop.

Many of us know what we DON'T want, but when you ask someone, "What do you want?", very often, it feels like a trick question. Because we are so used to looking after others, we tend to lose sight of what we really want out of life as we get distracted by others' needs and expectations. After all, we only notice what we don't want when it bugs us, but don't recognise what we want from it. By using what we know we don't want, we can work with opposites to know what we want - logical, right?
For example, if we have been cheated on, we know we don't want to be in such a situation as it is so hurtful, degrading and makes us lose our confidence and sense of worth. The opposite of cheating is being loyal, so it would make sense that what we want is LOYALTY. This helps to start with, for sure.

Melody Ross, in her online class The Walk (unfortunately no longer available online), makes it clear that goals where you have power on will be easier to plan and achieve. If your goal is that your ex loves you back, the entirety of your goal's potential success depends on SOMEONE ELSE making the decision. There is just no way you can prepare, plan and work for that because, whatever you do, the decision will lie in someone else's hands.
She has a journaling exercise that I absolutely loved and will use over and over in the future.

I want ____________ so that ____________ and that will bring me __________ so that _________________ , so that _____________. So what I really want is _________________ so that ________________.

It seems weird looking at this fill in journaling, but it makes a lot more sense when you can see an example so I will share with you one of mine to give you a better idea how this works:

"I want to exercise regularly so that I can feel better and more energised, so that I have the vitality to accomplish more and be more available to others and that will bring me more time available so that I can help more people so that I can feel complete and make a difference in this world. So what I really want is contribution to others so that I can help make this world a better, kinder place for everyone including me". I have to say, when I started with my health, I had no idea that this exercise would take me there. You just fill in the blanks, letting your thoughts flow, just like when someone asks you simple questions and you just answer in the most natural, truthful and simple way. You already know what you need and what you want truly, you just need to dig the dirt out from the top to clearly see it.

The mind map above will serve as your next step to prepare for your journey towards this goal, just like you would when you go on holiday in a place you've never been before.

The image below can be copied and pasted onto a Word or Publisher (or equivalent) document if you want to resize it and fill in the mind map with your own answers, to allow you more space for your writing.

Thinking about your goal, before, during and after will help you to better prepare.

And remember, it's all about the journey before you get there and all the lessons learnt. That's what is making us stronger and wiser.
Happy soul travelling.

Melody Ross's website and her Soul School