Today, we’re not talking about killing these little creatures - thankfully.
ANTs stand for Automatic Negative Thoughts. That’s the little voice in your head telling you you can’t do it, you’re no good, no one will ever love you and everything bad happening to you is either YOUR fault or THEIR fault.
We all have automatic negative thoughts (no light without darkness) but it’s what we do with them that determines our mindset. It is all up to us.
ANTs, when listened to religiously, can have devastating effects on your life - depression, feelings of inadequacy, lack of confidence, inaction, desire to fit in and ignoring your true needs or, in extreme cases, can even lead to suicidal tendencies. All these effects preventing you from fulfilling your full potential, from becoming who you wish you could be and are actually meant to be.
Unfortunately, there is no magic potion that will make your ANTs go away. It takes willpower, awareness, total honesty, as well as self-compassion- lots of it.
When an ANT tries to steal your thunder, be aware of it, as if you were an outsider listening to the thought emerging. What is it saying? Why is it saying that? Is it really true? Think of your past experiences and what you have achieved so far - you made it this far, after all so you can’t be as useless as this ANT tells you.
ALWAYS remember that you do hard things all day every single day of your life and, every single day, you’ve pulled through. Give yourself some credit.
Many of our ANTs will attack us on a very personal level, targeting our weakest spots, and it takes courage to stand up to them. But not all ANTs are created equally and some will target other people around you or outside situations, altering the nature of your relationships to others in a negative way.
For instance, someone at work getting a promotion when you didn’t, not only could make you feel “not enough “ but could also lead you to feel resentful towards your promoted colleague - your ANTs will most certainly try to make you feel that way, for sure, if you let them.
When these ANTs get into your head, listen to what they are saying- “it’s not fair he got promoted and I didn’t; I work as hard as him - he must have sucked up to the boss to get it”.
Next step is to analyse the ANT with clear honesty and fairness - and that’s a big shift from being wound up and resentful, I get it: if your colleague works as hard as you, then there is a fair chance that the promotion is well deserved, fair and square, what job does this person do? Has he taken on extra responsibilities that could explain the promotion, rather than “sucking up to the boss”? If that’s the case, shouldn’t you feel happy for them that they finally got recognition for all their hard work?
If you do indeed work as hard as this colleague and do a similar job, maybe your turn for a promotion is just around the corner? Why not ask nicely? It’s all about getting your emotions out of the way and rationalise the situation in a clear and honest manner. It’s not easy, it does take practice, and, even though I have been practising for a few years, there are still times when the ANTs get the better of me, and in these times, I give myself some grace that I will do better next time.
On some occasions, your ANTs will relate to a genuinely negative individual/group of people/situation, and while the thoughts will be more than appropriate - in case of betrayal, for instance - what you ALWAYS need to remember is,
WHO AM I HURTING BY LETTING THE ANTS GET TO ME?
And it’s all down to that, keeping you safe and taking care of yourself so you can be the best version of yourself and find your inner peace.
Disclaimer- I am not a healthcare therapist; I just share my experience as a human being living in this world the best I can. If you suffer from any mental disorders and/or traumatic experiences, please ensure that you have access to professional help and support to help you.
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